Somehow..

Somehow i felt guilty..
for everything i've done..
somehow..
m i rly wrong..
i hav no idea y i hav dis guiltiness in me..
as if im da 1 doing it..
bt..
why..
everything seems hard for my road..
everything..
y,,
y shud i be a prefect in a 1st place..
i try to be my best..
do wad i can da most..
bt i cant..
i gt ntg..
no appreciation..
no ntg..
bt contributing aint abt da return..
maybe is for my experience??
no idea..
bt i rly hope i can be lik him..
being famous n all dat..
bt from wad i see..
i cant..
or shud i say..
i won't..
u r lucky..
u gt gud frenz..
caring frenz..
appreciate it..
somehow..
i cant stand it anymore..
somehow..
im crying..
somehow..
im nobody anymore..
somehow..
somehow..
somehow..

nvm..
it'll all be ok..
once after 2 years..
i'm gonna meet new ppl..
maybe ppl who appreciate me..
maybe ppl who dont..
maybe ppl who hates me..
i'll nvr noe..
enjoy life..
can i??
jux hope i can be lik u..
famous..
wad oso can..
even do wrong oso lik u r right..

forgiving might be a gud solution..
bt..
i hate myself for being so sensitive..
i hate myself for being so useless..
i hate myself for being nothing..
i wanna be somebody..
muz i becum a bad student to gt recognize??
muz i..?
sry kailin..
i might let u down..
i cant stand it now..

friday..

haiz..
spotcheck..
nt happy bout wad happen today..
da spot check is nice..
bt nt da person..

i rly dunno how to say..
i cant say dat im angry..
bt im angry..
jux..
im nt even under u..
n u order me to do things..
as if im under u..
if u rly in charge in da spot check..
u r da head..
i dun k..
i will listen..
bt u r not..
fine~
dun bother..
i listen to ur command..
since is for da bez of whole pengawas..
bt y..
y did u hav to do dat..
y do hav to disgrace us??
no..
i dun hate u..
bt u r making me feel dat u r using ur powers for ur own private matters..
y??
asking ppl to check ppl's bag..
order here order dat..
wad i heard is no wrong..
i dun wanna say abt it..
bt is right..
y??
y did u wan to do dat??
to help ur 'so-called brother'?
wad u gt?
ntg bt trouble..
yes..
indeed im angry..
bt im nt angry abt dat incident..
im angry dat u r bossing me around..
fine~
i'll jux endure..
until i gt da chance..
even i've ppl to help me do sumthing..
i've nvr used dat tone to ask..
bt u..
u aint da boss of me..
n u use dat kind of tone..
wad do u think i m..
ur maid??

wadeva..
i'll try to 4gt bout it..
bt i may nid time..
AGAIN><

haiz..
2day eyes more serious..
now i look lik a rabbit..
1 eye very red..
omg..
kinda itchy..
hope it get well..
or i will look lik a vampire..
XD

F.R.I.E.N.D.S. (2)

da 2nd post of today..
since i have no time dis afternoon...
so din manage to write all..
jux release my frustrations..

now..
i wan wish xiiao wei HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!
dunno m i da 1st 1 2 wish dis 'morning'..
XD

dun rly rmb wad i wanna say..
omg..
having sore eyes..
now one of it is kinda red..
omg..
itchy n pain TT
dunno can go school tomolo anot..
wish is ok..
even though i dun feel lik going..

F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

once again..
i wanna complain..
(never ending)
i c all of ur true colours..
i dun gt it..
y hav u guys be so..
indescribable..

isit dat hard to contact..?
jux bcuz u r hungry..
does dat means u dun hav to help ur fren in nid??
if u rly dat hungry..
nvm..
tell me..
i do it for ya..
bt no~~
wad oso dun tell..
nid me go all da way in n do it..
wadeva..
no ppl cares about it except for me..
y shud i be so concern abt it..
when dey r alone outside w8ing..
i acc dem..
bt when im alone..
yes..
alone..
jux alone..
dey dun k bout it..
except for sookfen dem which hav sumthin to tell me..
bt den?
ntg much..
ish~~
yea..
i knew it!!
if it isnt for da gal u lik or wad..
u won be dat generous at all..
will u w8 for a normal fren??
no..
only w8 for da 1 u like to go to da place with u..
(maybe some of u maybe wondering..
bt i dun wan to write so clear..)

yea..
when he find u..
sure gt other intention..
u think he's so gud??
dun think so..
even when frenz r wrong..
he dun even tell..
let dem wrong den self finish..
dis aint misunderstanding..
i saw it v my own eyes..
WAH!!
u SOOOOOOOOO gud..
SOOOOOOOOOO clever hor~~
if so clever den dun come school la..
come for wad..
adui!!!
(again.. dunwan rite so directly..)
if u think is u..
is u..
if u think not den nt..
dun k..

from now on..
i prefer to keep silent..
i dun wanna talk dat much anymore..
except to those who appreciate me as a fren..
or else??
whenever i wanna talk..
nobody cares..
all dey care r dose who r more popular..
wadeva..
being gud aint getting gud..

to those who care..
thx for ur concern..

operation 13..

da title makes no sense..
jux a code..
a secret code..
secret..
^^

ARGH!!
my eyes..
it burns..
nt rly..
bt it itches..
omg..
muz be infected by my bro's sore eyes..
now is starting to turn red..
TT

den 2day ntg much..
had a meeting v kailin..
a while..
spoke sumthin..
ntg..
YESTERDAY ONCE MORE..
hahaha~
(makes no sense)

den during physics..
omg..
teac rly adui la..
old liao..
she said she told us to bring graph paper..
wad??!!
whole class said no u still insist u told us..
hello??
u hav many class la..
maybe u told other class bt din tell us la..
bt lucky u end up provide us graph paper..
n din scold us..
or else i rly mad at u..

den after school..
unexpectedly..
me n sook fen were asked to attend a meeting v teachers at 1.40..
den go out v YJ makan yee mee..
den eat till too faz..
my tongue burn liao..
><
hurt hurt..
den rush bek..
lik wad i thought..
delay cuz da 1st meeting still on..
haven dismiss..
w8ed outside da bilik mesyuarat..
tick tock~~
den finally..
went in..
sit dere...
listen things..
den gt things eat..
omg..
smells nice..
bt...
i ate b4 coming..
so im full..
no eat..
bt da teachers like very kind la..
insist wan us to eat..
so we ate sumthin lik a desert..
kinda nice..
bt too sweet..
make me feel thirsty..
bt da fried chicken smells nice..
bt no taste..
bt da most important thing is still da teachers..
all lik very kind..
including pn. pauline..
keep wan us eat da rice..XD

omg..
haha

den w8ed till 4.30..
chat v many juniors..
many seems so cool..
bt today gt better bit la..
gt talk v many ppl le..
XD
bt still..
many r still cool..
either too shy or think dey r too gud for me..
><
wadeva la..
time~~
bt after rumah sukan sure less chance stay bek le..
><

nidyooSSS~~

...

changed a lil lil sumthin in my blog...
lil lil..
XD

monday..
haha..
i cant bliv i did dat..
it was so not me..
im nt dat kind of person..
wad person??
hehehe
is...
a person who play sports during PJ..
haha
crazy~

so unexpectedly i played bola tampar..
wow..
so fun~
den we use da ball play football..
nice..
even though lose..
XD

play till very very tired..
hair all messy..
no bring comb..
TT
suan le..
ntg much anyway..
den nothing much happen..
til after school..
rumah sukan str8 after school..
only gt 15 min rest..
TT

during high jump..
unexpectedly i jump over da pole..
yay!
haha~

wow..
rly tired la..
eat a piece of bread at 6..
until 5o'clock no eat..
5 sumthin only eat cup noodle..
so not healthy..
if my parents noe sure scold me..
bt no time ma..
i sacrificed my time for school!!
crazy me..
XD

den nothing special to mention about..
rly many couple in school la..
make me envy so much..
TT
haha
even a small boy win me..
lagi sad..
nvm la..
not dat important oso..
feeling bek to happy mood again..
bt dunno when will it go..
hope it'll stay..

everytime i look at da picture of u..
i will cry..
even im smiling..
tears jux come down..
i cant control it..
i miss u..
very much..
y u hav to leave me so early..
y..
looking at ur pic bring me lots of memories..
i will bare it in my heart..
forever and always..
unless i gt amnesia..XD

Nothing much..

im still..
speechless..
dese few days gt stay back..
looking at dose afternoon sessions..
feel lik communicating with them..
bt..
cant..
is either they r too shy or...
arrogant..
perhaps shy..
bt some of dem rly see u lik nt seeing any1..
n i started to say hi 1st..
gt cold shoulders..
TT
bt somehow..
every1 noe Jy..
bt nt many noes me..
><
maybe they think im too wild..
bt im jux acting it up so dat ppl will think im friendly..
bt unfortunately i went da wrong way..
perhaps i hav be back my own 'serious' look..
haiz..
jux wan to be more friendly..
isit dat hard??
maybe im nt as sociable as him..

argh..
y cant i jux gt dat chance..
more n more ppl hav gf/bf..
telling me im a failure??
TT