so what...

i c no difference between my present n absent..
nobody seems to care..
bt i noe some did..
thx ya all~~

haiz..
2day tot can play ping pong de..
bt..
haiz..
dun wan talk abt it..
bazir masa tukar baju..

a funny thing is..
when having meeting..
she suddenly ask me go out..
den praise me agn..
omg..
damn funny..
XDXD

sore eyes..

cuz of red eyes..(I m Terminator!!)XDXD
i din attend skul for 2 days..
bt no much ppl cares abt it..
so do i XD..
bt to those who cared...
i rly appreciate it..
it rly cheers me up a lot..
n most importantly..

i nid wish CheeYong n Yin-Xin
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!
din attend da party..
><
haiz..
perhaps next time..
XD

i dun wan to get involved with so many things anymore..
if sumthin happens..
im being blamed..
bt even if im nt involved..
i will get blamed too..
haiz..
is hard to do..
i noe u won bliv me..
bt i tried my bez..
for wad descision had been made..
i hav no control of it..
trust me or not..
i cant force ya to..
bt as long in my heart,i'll say:
I'm innocent..

Speechless...

Again..
from wad i expected..
wad i had expected came true again..
(as always)
ever since dat day i started to forgive u...
i knew dat u will hate me agn..
forgiving is da starting for u to hate me..
i knew it all along..
we can nvr be frenz..
since..
ever..
is either u hate me or i hate u..
bt i choose to let u hate me..

maybe i hav again misunderstand..
bt i dun think so..
if u think i keep spreading wad u did..
den u r wrong..
i din spread it..
im da 1 who heard from other ppl..
did i mention wad u did on my blog??
did i say who did it on my blog..
ppl who asked me oredi knew wad happen..
so it aint my fault..
i even feel embarassed about it..
y would i tell other ppl..

if u insist im da 1 who harmed u..
fine..
bt i can say dat im innocent..
i didnt do anything dat harm any1..
instead i tried too beg for u..
which is impossible..
i know is hard for u to trust..
bt at least i know dat im innocent..
dun accuse me for doing ntg wrong..
i tried my bez..
bt his descisions r beyond my control..
wadeva..
i did anything dat i can do to help..
wadeva happens..
i can ntg bout it..

sumtimes i rly envy dat u can do everything dat i wan..
envy bt nt jealous..
seems lik u can do everything dat i wan..
y..
i rly cant tell..

conclusion:
i dun hate u..
bt i dunno whether u hate me anot..
if u do..
i apologize for wad i've done..
if u dun mind..
tell me..
bt u probably won..
so is a waste of time..
of cuz i rly hope we can be gud frenz..
better to hav a fren den an enemy rite??
no hard feelings??

i'll start to put down everything..
i dun wanna get involved in so much annoying things..
which do ntg bt hurt my feelings..
if im nt told..
i dun wanna do dose things anymore..
u guys can handle it by urselves..
with or without me is da same..

我讨厌
蛮不讲理的我

我讨厌
很敏感的我

我讨厌
小气的我

我讨厌
自以为是的我

我讨厌
自私的我

我讨厌
。。。。。。。

Somehow..

Somehow i felt guilty..
for everything i've done..
somehow..
m i rly wrong..
i hav no idea y i hav dis guiltiness in me..
as if im da 1 doing it..
bt..
why..
everything seems hard for my road..
everything..
y,,
y shud i be a prefect in a 1st place..
i try to be my best..
do wad i can da most..
bt i cant..
i gt ntg..
no appreciation..
no ntg..
bt contributing aint abt da return..
maybe is for my experience??
no idea..
bt i rly hope i can be lik him..
being famous n all dat..
bt from wad i see..
i cant..
or shud i say..
i won't..
u r lucky..
u gt gud frenz..
caring frenz..
appreciate it..
somehow..
i cant stand it anymore..
somehow..
im crying..
somehow..
im nobody anymore..
somehow..
somehow..
somehow..

nvm..
it'll all be ok..
once after 2 years..
i'm gonna meet new ppl..
maybe ppl who appreciate me..
maybe ppl who dont..
maybe ppl who hates me..
i'll nvr noe..
enjoy life..
can i??
jux hope i can be lik u..
famous..
wad oso can..
even do wrong oso lik u r right..

forgiving might be a gud solution..
bt..
i hate myself for being so sensitive..
i hate myself for being so useless..
i hate myself for being nothing..
i wanna be somebody..
muz i becum a bad student to gt recognize??
muz i..?
sry kailin..
i might let u down..
i cant stand it now..

friday..

haiz..
spotcheck..
nt happy bout wad happen today..
da spot check is nice..
bt nt da person..

i rly dunno how to say..
i cant say dat im angry..
bt im angry..
jux..
im nt even under u..
n u order me to do things..
as if im under u..
if u rly in charge in da spot check..
u r da head..
i dun k..
i will listen..
bt u r not..
fine~
dun bother..
i listen to ur command..
since is for da bez of whole pengawas..
bt y..
y did u hav to do dat..
y do hav to disgrace us??
no..
i dun hate u..
bt u r making me feel dat u r using ur powers for ur own private matters..
y??
asking ppl to check ppl's bag..
order here order dat..
wad i heard is no wrong..
i dun wanna say abt it..
bt is right..
y??
y did u wan to do dat??
to help ur 'so-called brother'?
wad u gt?
ntg bt trouble..
yes..
indeed im angry..
bt im nt angry abt dat incident..
im angry dat u r bossing me around..
fine~
i'll jux endure..
until i gt da chance..
even i've ppl to help me do sumthing..
i've nvr used dat tone to ask..
bt u..
u aint da boss of me..
n u use dat kind of tone..
wad do u think i m..
ur maid??

wadeva..
i'll try to 4gt bout it..
bt i may nid time..
AGAIN><

haiz..
2day eyes more serious..
now i look lik a rabbit..
1 eye very red..
omg..
kinda itchy..
hope it get well..
or i will look lik a vampire..
XD

F.R.I.E.N.D.S. (2)

da 2nd post of today..
since i have no time dis afternoon...
so din manage to write all..
jux release my frustrations..

now..
i wan wish xiiao wei HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!
dunno m i da 1st 1 2 wish dis 'morning'..
XD

dun rly rmb wad i wanna say..
omg..
having sore eyes..
now one of it is kinda red..
omg..
itchy n pain TT
dunno can go school tomolo anot..
wish is ok..
even though i dun feel lik going..

F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

once again..
i wanna complain..
(never ending)
i c all of ur true colours..
i dun gt it..
y hav u guys be so..
indescribable..

isit dat hard to contact..?
jux bcuz u r hungry..
does dat means u dun hav to help ur fren in nid??
if u rly dat hungry..
nvm..
tell me..
i do it for ya..
bt no~~
wad oso dun tell..
nid me go all da way in n do it..
wadeva..
no ppl cares about it except for me..
y shud i be so concern abt it..
when dey r alone outside w8ing..
i acc dem..
bt when im alone..
yes..
alone..
jux alone..
dey dun k bout it..
except for sookfen dem which hav sumthin to tell me..
bt den?
ntg much..
ish~~
yea..
i knew it!!
if it isnt for da gal u lik or wad..
u won be dat generous at all..
will u w8 for a normal fren??
no..
only w8 for da 1 u like to go to da place with u..
(maybe some of u maybe wondering..
bt i dun wan to write so clear..)

yea..
when he find u..
sure gt other intention..
u think he's so gud??
dun think so..
even when frenz r wrong..
he dun even tell..
let dem wrong den self finish..
dis aint misunderstanding..
i saw it v my own eyes..
WAH!!
u SOOOOOOOOO gud..
SOOOOOOOOOO clever hor~~
if so clever den dun come school la..
come for wad..
adui!!!
(again.. dunwan rite so directly..)
if u think is u..
is u..
if u think not den nt..
dun k..

from now on..
i prefer to keep silent..
i dun wanna talk dat much anymore..
except to those who appreciate me as a fren..
or else??
whenever i wanna talk..
nobody cares..
all dey care r dose who r more popular..
wadeva..
being gud aint getting gud..

to those who care..
thx for ur concern..