Enough is enough..

im tired of my childishness..
im tired of my sensitivity..
im tired of everything i m..
i wanna change..
i wan to be sum1 i dunno..
i dun wan to be lik dis anymore..
i dun wan to talk so much to draw attention..
i dun wan to hate sum1 anymore..
all i wan is peace..
y can ppl dun bother abt it...
y cant i..
i muz try to do it..
muz..

so wad if no1 appreciate it..
as long i noe i did my bez..
i can be happy oredi..
is MUZ.

from dis day onwards..
i will talk less..
y talk so many..?
ppl won listen..
den i will start to feel angry agn..
so y shud i talk so much..
jux sit n listen..
done..
every1 happy^^

Failure..

Once again I'm a failure..

2day we hv merentas desa activity..
da prefects sold pizza..
i helped bt i dunno wad i did..
conclusion.. stand dere n pose only..

bt c all of dem kinda bz...
haiz.. ntg much to decribe about it..
den finiz school..
still ntg much special happened..
congratz yantong(2nd place) n 'sailou'(4th place)..
den after skul go for organ lesson..
ntg special..
jux tired..

den go for tuition lo after lesson..
omg..
stuck in trafic..
goin to be late..
haiz..
den 3.30 le..
haven reach..
den my phone vibrate..
wow..
tot my 'frenz' ask abt me..
bt no..
is my sailou dt ask abt me..
nvm..
nt important..

den reach le..
late bout 5-10 minutes..
nt too late la..
teac haven start teaching yet..
sit dere lo with my 'frenz'..
wad rly frustrates me is..
my present is no difference with my absent..
sitting dere means ntg at all..
is lik sitting alone..
nvr even ask y im late(since im usually early)..
din even bother..
fine..
when i finally gt a chance to go sit v my sailou..
haha..
nice..
feel much happier..
n most importantly..
i can see da board clearer..
nice~
bt it still bugs me..
is lik i rly mean ntg to dem anymore..
wadeva..
i noe who r da 1 who rly appreciate me..
who r not..

im such a failure..
i can nvr success in friendship..
ever since during primry skul..
all cuz of my high sensitivity..
i gt sensitive abt everything..
too sensitive..
bt i cant change it..
is me..
bt i tried to hide it..
so dat it won be dat bad..
i noe da problem is caused by me..
all bcuz im sensitive..
y go n bother so much..
bother this bother that..
end up??
hating dis hating dat..
self feeling frustrated..
stupid me..
for all im facing..
i can blame no1..
all i can blame is myself..
i deserve no1 to care..
i deserve nothing..

!!!MJ!!!

U R SUCH A FAILURE!!!

SUCH STUPID!!!

!!!!I HATE U!!!!

i wan be sejarah teacher!!

u guys be thinking dat im crazy...
bt no..
is so EASY..
"go home read dis..dat.."
"i dun wan tech so detail or else i cant finiz da syllabus"
"i wan noe da meaning of ... next week.."
done..
i finiz teaching..
so easy><
i learn dis from my RESPECTED teacher.. XD

den dis morning..
dunno y my class n 4D gt ppl 'destroy'..
kena vandalised..
den run up n down..
finally settled bt dunno who did it..

y..
frenz..
love..
how..
it cant balance at all..
after seeing HIS blog..
i feel..
very..
nt happy..
nt angry..
nt sad..
nt wadeva..
bt da feeling aint gud at all..
y..
u said u dun lik her anymore..
u said u lik another person..
now u're saying dat u lik bek dis person..
i rly speechless..
i noe i dun hav da chance anymore..
bt..
i dunno wad to say..
i rly wanna..
dunno wad..
argh!!
frustrated..
y muz i suffer from dis..
y muz we coincidentally lik da same person..
u think i wun be jealous abt it??
all on a sudden..
u go find her..
u think i wun jealous??
she wan find teac..
den u oso wan follow..
u think i like it??
it rly hurts..
y..
y can i still act my smile..
muz i be so fake..
y cant i jux express out my feeling??
y shud i be so stupid..
i rly cant stand it..
standing behind u guys..
seeing wad u guys do..
u think i rly feel ntg??
perhaps i can jux smile..
u!!
look on d bright side..
u still hav a BFF supporting u..
appreciate it!!
me??
everything seems different when u r nt at da same primry skul..
im oways lik an outsider..
most ppl find me only bcuz dey cant find deir real fren..
so find me as substitute..
nvm..
everything will be over in 2 years time..
it may be long bt i muz stand it..

instincts tell me love will come over frenship agn..
AGN!!
u will hate me once agn..
jux w8 n c..

lastly..
dere's 1 fren who rly made me touched..
2day at class..
suddenly u came in n say wan find me when teac is teaching..
go out lo..
wow..
u gav me a bottle of eyedrop..
it rly means a lot..
compare to others..
u rly r a caring fren..
im rly rly touched..
nvr rly expect anything..
my own frenz..
nt even asking how m i..
bt u..
purposely giv me 1..
even though doc oredi gav me medicine..
n i cant use urs..
bt im rly rly touched of wad u did..
THANK YOU Leong Shu Nee!!
Friends Forever~~

why...

Love is in the air..
more n more couples in da school..
perhaps Cupid's arrow shot many ppl..
bt me..><

for no reason..
i jux cant giv up..
i cant stop loving u..
im jealous when i u with other guys..
rly...
bt i can ntg bout it..
u r only my fren..
i dun hav da right to ask u to leave dem..
i dun hav da right to be sad or angry about it..
im nt ur who..
i cant do anything..
i can jux think of other things to distract me from u..
y..
y is it so hard..
knowing dat he stil likes u make me more...
indescribable..
all i wan is jux an easy matter..
bt it seems so hard..
y..
i dun hav da looks..
i dun hav da things u r looking for..
perhaps..
perhaps wad i hav is wad u wanted laz time..
nt now..

wad can i do..
wad can i do to make me less obsess about it..
isit time to giv up?
bt whenever i say dat..
a thought jux come to me..
saying 'u gotta chance'..
dis encouragement is too harsh..
is making more..
ARGH~
i dunnno how..
can any1 tell me..

so what...

i c no difference between my present n absent..
nobody seems to care..
bt i noe some did..
thx ya all~~

haiz..
2day tot can play ping pong de..
bt..
haiz..
dun wan talk abt it..
bazir masa tukar baju..

a funny thing is..
when having meeting..
she suddenly ask me go out..
den praise me agn..
omg..
damn funny..
XDXD

sore eyes..

cuz of red eyes..(I m Terminator!!)XDXD
i din attend skul for 2 days..
bt no much ppl cares abt it..
so do i XD..
bt to those who cared...
i rly appreciate it..
it rly cheers me up a lot..
n most importantly..

i nid wish CheeYong n Yin-Xin
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!
din attend da party..
><
haiz..
perhaps next time..
XD

i dun wan to get involved with so many things anymore..
if sumthin happens..
im being blamed..
bt even if im nt involved..
i will get blamed too..
haiz..
is hard to do..
i noe u won bliv me..
bt i tried my bez..
for wad descision had been made..
i hav no control of it..
trust me or not..
i cant force ya to..
bt as long in my heart,i'll say:
I'm innocent..

Speechless...

Again..
from wad i expected..
wad i had expected came true again..
(as always)
ever since dat day i started to forgive u...
i knew dat u will hate me agn..
forgiving is da starting for u to hate me..
i knew it all along..
we can nvr be frenz..
since..
ever..
is either u hate me or i hate u..
bt i choose to let u hate me..

maybe i hav again misunderstand..
bt i dun think so..
if u think i keep spreading wad u did..
den u r wrong..
i din spread it..
im da 1 who heard from other ppl..
did i mention wad u did on my blog??
did i say who did it on my blog..
ppl who asked me oredi knew wad happen..
so it aint my fault..
i even feel embarassed about it..
y would i tell other ppl..

if u insist im da 1 who harmed u..
fine..
bt i can say dat im innocent..
i didnt do anything dat harm any1..
instead i tried too beg for u..
which is impossible..
i know is hard for u to trust..
bt at least i know dat im innocent..
dun accuse me for doing ntg wrong..
i tried my bez..
bt his descisions r beyond my control..
wadeva..
i did anything dat i can do to help..
wadeva happens..
i can ntg bout it..

sumtimes i rly envy dat u can do everything dat i wan..
envy bt nt jealous..
seems lik u can do everything dat i wan..
y..
i rly cant tell..

conclusion:
i dun hate u..
bt i dunno whether u hate me anot..
if u do..
i apologize for wad i've done..
if u dun mind..
tell me..
bt u probably won..
so is a waste of time..
of cuz i rly hope we can be gud frenz..
better to hav a fren den an enemy rite??
no hard feelings??

i'll start to put down everything..
i dun wanna get involved in so much annoying things..
which do ntg bt hurt my feelings..
if im nt told..
i dun wanna do dose things anymore..
u guys can handle it by urselves..
with or without me is da same..

我讨厌
蛮不讲理的我

我讨厌
很敏感的我

我讨厌
小气的我

我讨厌
自以为是的我

我讨厌
自私的我

我讨厌
。。。。。。。