153rd day of waiting

153rd day of waiting..Fri
morning went to skul..
sook fen dem play cards..
den help sook fen..
she damn lucky..
bt hor skill nt so gud only..
haha~!

den perhimpunan..
ei~
zd..
y c dou sailou de..
tot he nt coming..

den went to bilik sj..
teac said sumthin..
makes me feel alil sad..
suddenly feel lik she very gud..
laz day jor only change till lik dat..
omg~

den took our result..
(so faz man 1st time lo!)

oh shit!!
65==
gt improvement..
bt compare v dem..
i very weak..
cuz all of dem oso 80++
me??
65..
fine..
while walking v u guys..
u guys kept saying dis n dat..
i only gt 65..
fine..
even though im nt happy abt it..
jux keep it in my heart..

den..
went bek class..
tot of havin fun..
den teac ask us do things..
den finally went bek class..
feel lik having fun to 4gt bout sj..
bt..
dis is when a worse thing happened..

dey playin cards..
sook fen ask me w8..
den go find pn lee..
den w8 for her..
w8 jor..
she come n tell me..
abt monday de thing..
wan me go find pn lee..
den she continued playing cards..
WTF??!!
den my so called frenz?
none of dem even offered to acc me..
fine..
nvm..
go do it!

den find jor pn lee..
ask jor..
she nids help..
ask me find sum f3 de to help her..
bt i vounteered..
cuz i dun wanna go bek class..
den do do do~
go find many teac..
ask dem to check da paper for confirmation..
den sum teac rly..
"u help me check la!"
WTF??
dis is ur thing la!
hw on earth do i noe dis is rite or wrong??
u may rite wrong on da original copy oso!
think la dui!!

whole day walk up n down..
finding teac..
legs damn tired..
im so freakin' F*ed up!!!!!

den saw chingee..
haiz..
so shy..
see dou me stil wan walk away sneakily..
suan le..
so jux say hi 1st~
XP

den ntg much..
asked f3 to help complete..
den..
go bek class..
even bek jor..
felt my presence is nt important..
no1 cared..
suan le..
i 'sleep'!!
lay down dere..
as if im very tired..
bt all i jux wanna do is to ignore the world..
im nt rly 'sleeping'..

den waihong came n find me..
dunno hw to do==
den suan le..
go bek down help him..
den finally finiz jor~

go dewan..
sit v f3..
play cards with dem..
1st round den win jor..
woohoo~
den 2nd round..
let teac stop jor..
cuz cannot play poker..
sh!t..
teac noticed i from form 4 jor..
ask me go bek..
bt i plead teac haha..
so end up stay dere..
den jiasheng still gav me sum snacks..
wahahaha..
den still gt around 10 min..
went bek class..
take my bag..
once agn..
no1 cared..
fine..
go bek down to dewan v my bag..
take pics..
den teac announce 2day laz day jor..
haiz..

feeling lik being v f3 better..
even though sumtimes topic cant chat..
bt at least sum care abt my presence..
bt hor..
kinda sad lo..
sailou din choi me!!!
sit at dewan dere so long..
oso no choi me..
TT
seizai!
ask u take pic den keep say dun wan..
TT
bt anyway..
happy holiday~!
wahahaha
rmb dat promise a!!

den bek home..
on9..
den sleep..
later still gonna go for sum1's wedding dinner..
haiz..
forced to..
TT
hope da food is nt disappointing..

150th, 151st, 152nd day of waiting..

150th day of waiting..Tue
morning go to skul..
whole day din go in class..
stay at bilik pengawas..
after perhimpunan den meeting..
den keep stay dere..
den heard physics teac gonna teach f5 things..
den dun wan go jor..
go help f3~
bt actually go play la..

ntg much..
sum parents rly..
@@
den ntg much..

bek home den nap..
den ntg much..
heard ppl say my physics 88..
highest..
same v peiyen..
bt nt sure oso..

tuition..
6-9..
feeling lik is monday~
bt feel better..

den bek home..

once agn..
i asked for a chance..
bt..
once agn..
failed..
i rly dun understand..
y!!

i rly cant 4gt abt u!!
everything reminds me of u!!
da moments we've been thru!!
da dance between me n u!!
argh!!!
i cant stop myself..

cried whole nite..
feeling my heart very sour..

151st day of waiting..Wed
go to skul..
no mood..
den perhimpunan oso gt a lil mistake..
haiz..
den go bek class..
play cards whole day..
gt bio paper jor..
feeling kinda sad..
cuz weak jor..
argh!!

bek home..
no nap..
den went jogging around da garden..
quite satisfied~
den bek jor..
kept sweating..
omg..
1st time sweat so furiously..
since months ago..
very satisfy~
indeeed very 'sexy'..
finally und wad sailou meant jor..

haiz..
tired..
even when i playing game..
oso nearly slept..
bt..
when i wan go bed..
sumthin was in my mind..
i cant sleep..
even im very tired..

我在你们心中到底有什么地位？？
好朋友？？
好兄弟？？
可是当我有事时··
那又有哪位好朋友会主动来找我？？
来问候我？？
当你们有事时··
又有谁会想到找我诉苦？？
你们有事时··
会想到我吗？？
往往都是最后才知道发生什么事··

有谁真的会真正关心我？？
来找我时··
都只是要跟我借东西··
那我不开心时··
你有理过吗？？

我就只是个过客··
也许太过自以为是了··
还以为你们会把我放在你们心里的第一··
就算没第一也会想到我··
可是··
我在你们心中只是个路过的蚂蚁··
每人看见··

152nd day of waiting..Thur
1st time wax my hair n go to skul..
cant do much since not much time..
jux simply..
bt nt much difference oso..
bt weird~

den whole day jux play cards..
n do sum pengawas things..
den play cards whole day la..
haiz..
still dun hav da mood..

147th, 148th, 149th day of waiting

147th day of waiting..Sat
morning woke up..
headache..
no go wushu..
den go for organ lesson later~
hehe..
quite successful..
cuz managed to play many songs..
den..
go for bio lesson..
den haiz..
headache saje..
bek home dat time..
ish..
dey still late..
haiz..
den go hav dinner..

den nite mahjong..
kinda hav no luck~
maybe dat seat rly nt lucky de..
haha^^
bro sit dere oso no luck..

148th day of waiting..Sun
morning woke up late..
den headache..
so no go tuition..

den stay at home whole day..
on9..
study~

nite..
cant sleep..
keep thinking bout her..
da moments we danced..
rly feel..
once in a lifetime opportunity..
who will gt da chance to dance v da girl u luv often?
i rly rly miss da moments..

149th day of waiting..Mon
went to skul..
morning perhimpunan dun wan go up stage..
cuz gt a lil headache..
jux stay down dere..
den many dye jor hair de ppl kena tangkap..
luckily sailou din kena..
c!
listen to me wun wrong de!

den jux w8 for SPBT de things..
gt alicia's book @@

den after recess..
exam..
sivik..
omg..
crazy de..
nt too easy den too hard==

den pjk~
omg!
1st 5 questions out b4==
luckily gt read..
den still gt 2 Q repeat de..
bt many i dunno de~
keep 4gt..

den finally end!!
woohoo~~

bek home..

gt sum news..
sum1 mcm very happy when gt my books==
zd~~

den zhao hong cr8ed a group..
for 6K'2006 de..
damn nice!
cuz every1 oso seldom chat..
bt 2day rly chat dou..
keep chattin~
haha!
den ming xiang..
i rly dunno is she until 2day..
haha..
da funny thing is she oso dunno is me^^
say add me cuz c dou lengzai..
XD
rly rly zd..
bt da prob is da pic dun look lik me oso @@
haha..
damn happy chattin v dem~

den i try to on my PS2..
play yugioh~
omg!!
rly on dou..
even though many tries..

bt end up oso success..
play play play..
long time no play jor..
bt da tv nt nice..
so damn red..
bt at least can play..
from 4 sumthin play till 12.30++
woohoo~~

2day damn happy~
1st..
EXAM FINALLY OVER!!

2nd..
on dou PS2 jor..
played many long time no play de game!!
muahaha

3rd..
chat bek v primary skul frenz..
damn happy^^

Last~
sailou finally make his promise~
wahaha..
finally c dou dat pic jor..
dunno w8ed how long~
bt at last c dou jor..
muahahaha~!

damn happy la 2day ^^

146th day of waiting

146th day of waiting..Fri
woke up..
kinda tired..
den w8 for lunch..
on9 on9 on9..
chat v chingee..
kinda funny xia.
keep saying me cute..
@@
den i act childish~

den afternoon go grandma hse..
hav haircut..
omg..
dis time damn short..
den used a lil wax..
nt sure hw use..
simply..
XD

den hav dinner..
sms sailou..
no reply me!
urgh!!

den jux went bek home..
let mom saw da dancing vid..
a lot of comments~
XP
den bek home..

2nd msg..
STILL NO REPLY!
ish~~

rite now..
i rly dunno hw..
i dunno wad im thinking..
yes..
i still hav da hatred feeling..
bt..
when i saw her pic..
i rly feel!!
..ARGH..
cant resist luving her..

i rly dunno whether i still lik her anot..
i dunno i still hav feelings for her anot..
i cant stop myself from thinking..

rly feeling lik finding sum1 to talk with..
bt..
i cant..
dere's no1 i can talk with..
i rly wanna find sum1..
bt when i nid it..
only i knew no1 is dere for me when i needed..
jux be alone here..

~headache~
think gonna fall ill soon..

145th day of waiting

145th day of waiting..Thur
2day woke up..
ntg much..
den on9..
chat v sailou a lil..
haiz sore throat jor..
take k la!!
drink water ma..
still wan eat chocolate jam!!
no die b4 ke??
ish!
take k la..
adui..

den he off9..
dad bought lunch..
omg..
RM30++
y??
cuz he tot is crabmeat fried noodles..
bt when i open it..
da whole crab is dere!
omg..
den had crab for lunch..

SH!T..
dunno y stomach ache..
i no eat chili wo..
rly SH!T dis time..

den go tuition..
wher my frustration starts..
went in..
saw chen hsien sit jor dat place..
no more place for me..
fine..
go behind..
i tahan!!
smiled!!
even though i dun lik it..
bt i smiled!!
dun wan think so much..
sit behind..
bt did u guys bother??
no!
fine..
sit dere..
press phone..
acc lik gt things do..
bt in my heart..
i hide my frustrations..

den siuhou came..
he did nt sit da place reserved for him..
in fact..
he sat beside me..
kinda touched..
den suddenly sum1 said sumthin dat make me very angry..
"y u dun sit at da seat de?"
SH!T la..
self dun wan acc me..
now he come acc me..
cannot a??
F away la!!
damn u!

den jux finiz tuition in frustration.
din bother them at all..
dun even wanna c dem!

den bek home..
ntg much..
even i saw her on9..
i dun feel lik finding anymore..
@@

i hav a lot of things wanna share v u guys..
bt dese 2 days rly prove to me a lot..
so i'll jux keep it to myself..
2 u guys..
im NTG!

i dun belong here..
i hate being alone..
bt no choice..
i hav to..
all i hope now is to graduate from here..
or die ASAP!!
ARGH!!
dun wan to see things lik dis anymore!!

144th day of waiting

144th day of waiting..Wed
morning..
keep read sj..
try try try~
den dey all..
come in oso same reaction..
who gt string..
haha..
cuz today wan return spbt books..
ish..
so faz return..
monday exam hw??
pjk n sivik oso..
who will buy reference book??

den suan..
2day go up stage v siew wei..
omg..
2day awkwardly noisy..
nvm..
den go bilik pengawas jor..
while w8in dem return..
den suan liao..
go out w8..
den very jia de..
haha..
den finally return jor..
went bek bilik..
w8 w8 w8..
den suddenly teac ask us carry things to bengkel@@
nvm..
after dat..
went bek class..
read sj..
n disturb meisim oso..

exam~
omg..
easy is easy..
bt hor..
i 4gt jor~
so conclusion..
hard for me..
easy for others..
T.T

finally finiz~
exam "over"!!
(excluded PJK n PSK)
!!!!
haha~
rly wonder..
if whole class "summer..summer.. summer"!!
hoho..
sure very yeng de..
bt..
haha..
den over lo..
go recess~
drank sarsi~

den went bek 1st..
cuz wanna find pn lee..
bt cant find..
den go bek..
no1 dere yet..
den jux go 4I~
feeling mcm cant fit in oso..
fine..
decided to go bek..
when go bek..
dey all playing cards..
fine..
suddenly gt a kind of bu shuang..
dunno y la..
bt cant blame dem..
im da 1 who was lost 1st..
den jux..
stand at my seat..
tidy up stuff..
bt neither 1 of them offered me to play..
den suddenly sumthin strike my mind..
GO FIND PN LEE!!
giving me an excuse to leave..
den finally find dou jor..
den gt her no.
bt she busy..
fine..
den leave..
slowly walk bek up..
cuz dunno hw face dem..
den bek jor..
put jor things in my bag..
den 1 more thing strike my mind..
TOILET!
giving me another excuse to leave..
den slowly i go down n up..
while walking..
thought of a lot of things..
feeling dat im lonely here..
with problems in my mind..
feeling lik finding sum1 to talk v..
bt den..
i felt dat..
dere's no1 dat i can talk to..
here..
im alone..
alone..
alone..

bek jor..
find yenji dem..
jux chat even though dose topic tak berkaitan v me..
den c khaichee de book..
saw many of dem..
haha..
cute~
den chat chat chat..
suddenly our territory kena conquered by other ppl..
den jux go find yh chat lo..
omg..
my tie pin kena humiliated..
he clip his pen*s with my clip..
omg..
den weii came..
he still open up his zip ask gt fur anot..
omg..
haha!
even though kinda weird..
bt at least im happy..
cuz at least sum1 can acc me..

den keep go dedikasi c haslina mark paper..
omg..
my chemistry damn afraid ei..
she haven't mark..
T.T
den keep walk here n dere..
den talked to weihao for da 1st time..
haha..
he oso quite 'lonely'..
reading his book dere..

i kept walking here n dere..
talking to 'lonely ppl'..
haha~
at least can keep me occupied..

den b4 bek..
pn lee found me..
den haiz..
rly hope u can be our teac-in-charge..
u're the best!

den bek home..
since faced things dat i dun lik in skul..
so kinda no mood..
den slept around 6 to 10..
woke up..
dad n mom went genting..
i jux on9 till 4 sumthin..
den sleep..

finally saw our dancing vid..
kinda satisfy..
reminds me of da times we've been thru..

sumhow..
here..
i'm alone..
hate dat feeling..
bt no choice..
hav to face it..

141st, 142nd, 143rd day of waiting

141st day of waiting..Sun
morning woke up..
den prepare go tuition..
ntg much..
den bek..
damn hungry..
still wan fetch grandpa dem..
skip~
nite keep revise bio2..
haiz..

142nd day of waiting..Mon
go skul..
prepare for assembly..
dis time no event..
so tot can be faster..
den jux w8 for speech..
getting longer n longer..
say we shudn't waste time..
study more..
bt now..
ish==

den finally over..
still hav 1 hour^^
bt hor..
my dream let a teac spoil jor..
she wan all ppl to sing n ikrar agn..
damn..
my time to do revision..
gone!!
den chem 1..
shit!
no bring OMR n testpads..
borrow~
or shud i say ask dem return bek..
XD
chem..
at least still can choose..
nt too bad..
den while doing..
suddenly feel dou sumthin behind me..
omg!
is my bag..
deng!
no bring out dou..
keep blocking it from teac's sight..

den recess n bio2!!
not much time..
TT
den exam..
sum still managable..
shit!
lipids..
no read dou!!
TT
14 marks go bye bye..
damn sad..
bt haiz..
at least essay still can simply rite..
gt a lil idea..

den bek home..
nap..
den study for bio1 n addmath..
no go tuition..
ponteng agn..
2nd time jor..@@

den while reading bio.
chatting v sum1..
listening to "enchanted"..
suddenly..
hav da urge to cry..
den cant control..
rly cried out..
so switched off da lights..
went to bed..
n cried whole night..
i rly miss da times we've been together..
i rly wanna be with u..
bt..
i noe we r impossible..
u will nvr like me anymore..
im trying to change..
bt guess dat i will nvr win him..
i wont be as gud as him..
..

143rd day of waiting..Tue
omg..
bilik pengawas..
became so small..
bt very tidy..
lik a canteen..
dunno y even though very dislike..
bt feel ok abt it..
mayb cuz tidy..
n can c dou da prefects kinda united..
^^
den exam..
addmath 2..
omg..
sum questions cacat de..
skip dem~
since choose only few to answer de..
luckily still can..
den bio1..
oso..
many dunno de..
teac still say easy==
den slept for 10 min..
automatically woke up..
den check..
den pass up..
finally laz 3rd sub jor..
SJ!!

den afternoon chat v sailou..
make me think dou after SPM wan hw change..
maybe bcum very wild..
maybe not..

den tuition..
teac very very late only come...
help sy erase da things on her sj book..
damn many de lo..

den bek home..

...

getting bad tempered lately..
gt many things..
suddenly feel lik shud be kept in heart..
cuz saying out will only let ppl think is a joke..

all i wanted is jux a simple thing..
bt..
ARGH!!!
y m i being so bad tempered!!
lil things oso become so angry..

do i rly mean wad i said??
dun think so..
perhaps..
i shud only hide my feelings to myself..
no1 wud even care abt it..
blogging will be my only way to release all my stress..
perhaps dis will be da only way..
even though i noe no1 wud care..
all i can say is fine...