Our 5th, 6th day

5th day..Wed
ntg much..
whole day..
quarreling..
den gt bek together..
den quarrel agn..
even small things..
we can also quarrel abt it..
y..
is only d 5th day..
n we hav to be lik dis..

i cant stand it..
i took a bath..
turned da switch to da highest temp..
bt it still feel so cold..
isit me??
or..

i rly dunno hw..

6th day..Thur
morning..
6 sumthin..
woke up..
cant sleep agn..
den on my comp..
check wad's new..
download da TT player..
kinda nice though..
den in my mind..
im thinking of u..
bt u're probably sleeping..
den chatted v benson..
he has his prob too..

den called teac hee..
no reply..
fine..
send a msg 1st..

den sleep..
suddenly..
teac call..
i changed my voice to talk..
nt da sleepy voice..
bt my mind still kinda unconscious..
den chatted a lil..
den slept agn..
suddenly..
lots of miss call woke me up..
waihong n baby..
haha.
suan le ba..
though im tired..
bt wake up ba..

den jux chat..
cant bliv kn is dis kind of person..
den u suddenly ask me..
dat question..
i was stunted..
bt i answer..
i din lie..
bt out of expected..
u said u cant accept it..
i rly wonder..
u wan me to lie to u..
at 1st..
i rly dun feel anything..
bt after u asked me..
im starting to feel guilty..
m i wrong??
y..
suddenly i cant accept myself..
i hate myself..
argh!!!
i rly hate myself..

den went to tuition..
chatted v hsien..
haiz..
rly zd..
anyway..
gratz..
u announce it urself..
b4 class start..
suddenly 'sum1' called me..
since 'sum1' wan me keep as secret..
den wun say is who..
den he/she asked me go unlock da toilet for him/her..
cuz he/she cant open it..
kinda funny..
laugh till me non stop..

den went bek..
jux chat..
watch tv..
den suddenly u came bek..
kinda happy..
bt i dunno hw i face u..
bt nvm..
u acted lik ntg happened..
den i was trying to act lik im happy..

u noe..
i rly dunno wad to do..
i rly hate myself..
ever since dat question..

...

dis sat..
u're going out..
to celebrate ur bday..
bt u noe..
im kinda disappointed..
dat u din even ask once whether i wanna join??
nt even once..
den u tell me going v dem..
...
can u tell dat actually im nt happy??
can u tell that im faking my smiles??
my 'jokes'??
i dunno whether hw can dis work out..
if is full of lies..

maybe u only lik me bcuz u havent noe me well..

i told u my back hurts..
bt did u care??
all u say is it is funny..
is it rly funny??
do u noe da hurt dat im feeling??
i rly dunno wad i can anymore..
i'll jux fake my emotions..


anyway..
to my sifu..
happy birthday~
wish u all da best..
n wish u can gt da girl u wan..