23/5 - 26/5

Mon:
exam phy 3 n pjk..
ntg much..

Tues:
morning no go school..
go c optician..
cuz dere's sumthn growing on my eye balls..
so horrible..
bt no itch no pain..
dat makes me wonder more..
den ntg much..

cant wear lens for weeks...
haiz..

den is xh bday..
so planned to go to his hse..
for a surprise of cuz..
indeed kinda worked out..

by then i start to think..
i will nvr hav any surprise at all..
no1 noe wher i live..
no1 will meet me on my bday..
so how m i suppose to hav any surprise..
nt on dat day..
i totally admire the others..

Wed:
bek to school..
bz bz bz..
den exam chinese..
crazy..
alot of da passage reminds me of sumthin..

nite...
i start to think a lot..

Thurs:
morning go school very early..
cuz mom nid to be early to her skul..
den nvm..

kinda luan v hari guru stuff..

honestly..
who out there knows how i feel?
which of u actually noe im sad when im smiling..
sumtimes i might act lik happy or sleepy..
bt actually im nt..
i jux wan to giv myself some reason to feel better..
i admire u guys..
totally..

i seriously nid sum1 to talk with..
bt which of u is dere for me..
at least listen to wad i say..
or at least show dat u care..
bt i guess with or without me..
it'll all be da same..

i've been keeping alot of things in my heart..
智者不言···
does it make me clever to keep quiet?
everytime when i heard sumthin..
i would jux act lik im bz..
y??
so dat i can act lik i cant hear it..
to let me feel better..

im acting lik i dun k..
bt u noe..
in my heart..
i do..
i smile bcuz my heart is crushing..
i smile bcuz i dunno wad to do else than dat..

i do not nid a fren dat laugh at me when im sharing sumthin..
i do not nid a fren dat will ignore wad i say..
i do not nid a fren dat doesnt respect me at all..
bcuz it has no difference compared to a stranger..
or probably a passerby might show concern..
so y cant frens do it??

im rly rly rly tired..
i dunno long can i take it any longer..
521..
how i wish it is true...
bt as usual..
it let me down..

如果我真的变了···
也不必好奇···
因为那时真正的我···