Somehow..

Somehow i felt guilty..
for everything i've done..
somehow..
m i rly wrong..
i hav no idea y i hav dis guiltiness in me..
as if im da 1 doing it..
bt..
why..
everything seems hard for my road..
everything..
y,,
y shud i be a prefect in a 1st place..
i try to be my best..
do wad i can da most..
bt i cant..
i gt ntg..
no appreciation..
no ntg..
bt contributing aint abt da return..
maybe is for my experience??
no idea..
bt i rly hope i can be lik him..
being famous n all dat..
bt from wad i see..
i cant..
or shud i say..
i won't..
u r lucky..
u gt gud frenz..
caring frenz..
appreciate it..
somehow..
i cant stand it anymore..
somehow..
im crying..
somehow..
im nobody anymore..
somehow..
somehow..
somehow..

nvm..
it'll all be ok..
once after 2 years..
i'm gonna meet new ppl..
maybe ppl who appreciate me..
maybe ppl who dont..
maybe ppl who hates me..
i'll nvr noe..
enjoy life..
can i??
jux hope i can be lik u..
famous..
wad oso can..
even do wrong oso lik u r right..

forgiving might be a gud solution..
bt..
i hate myself for being so sensitive..
i hate myself for being so useless..
i hate myself for being nothing..
i wanna be somebody..
muz i becum a bad student to gt recognize??
muz i..?
sry kailin..
i might let u down..
i cant stand it now..

friday..

haiz..
spotcheck..
nt happy bout wad happen today..
da spot check is nice..
bt nt da person..

i rly dunno how to say..
i cant say dat im angry..
bt im angry..
jux..
im nt even under u..
n u order me to do things..
as if im under u..
if u rly in charge in da spot check..
u r da head..
i dun k..
i will listen..
bt u r not..
fine~
dun bother..
i listen to ur command..
since is for da bez of whole pengawas..
bt y..
y did u hav to do dat..
y do hav to disgrace us??
no..
i dun hate u..
bt u r making me feel dat u r using ur powers for ur own private matters..
y??
asking ppl to check ppl's bag..
order here order dat..
wad i heard is no wrong..
i dun wanna say abt it..
bt is right..
y??
y did u wan to do dat??
to help ur 'so-called brother'?
wad u gt?
ntg bt trouble..
yes..
indeed im angry..
bt im nt angry abt dat incident..
im angry dat u r bossing me around..
fine~
i'll jux endure..
until i gt da chance..
even i've ppl to help me do sumthing..
i've nvr used dat tone to ask..
bt u..
u aint da boss of me..
n u use dat kind of tone..
wad do u think i m..
ur maid??

wadeva..
i'll try to 4gt bout it..
bt i may nid time..
AGAIN><

haiz..
2day eyes more serious..
now i look lik a rabbit..
1 eye very red..
omg..
kinda itchy..
hope it get well..
or i will look lik a vampire..
XD

F.R.I.E.N.D.S. (2)

da 2nd post of today..
since i have no time dis afternoon...
so din manage to write all..
jux release my frustrations..

now..
i wan wish xiiao wei HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!
dunno m i da 1st 1 2 wish dis 'morning'..
XD

dun rly rmb wad i wanna say..
omg..
having sore eyes..
now one of it is kinda red..
omg..
itchy n pain TT
dunno can go school tomolo anot..
wish is ok..
even though i dun feel lik going..

F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

once again..
i wanna complain..
(never ending)
i c all of ur true colours..
i dun gt it..
y hav u guys be so..
indescribable..

isit dat hard to contact..?
jux bcuz u r hungry..
does dat means u dun hav to help ur fren in nid??
if u rly dat hungry..
nvm..
tell me..
i do it for ya..
bt no~~
wad oso dun tell..
nid me go all da way in n do it..
wadeva..
no ppl cares about it except for me..
y shud i be so concern abt it..
when dey r alone outside w8ing..
i acc dem..
bt when im alone..
yes..
alone..
jux alone..
dey dun k bout it..
except for sookfen dem which hav sumthin to tell me..
bt den?
ntg much..
ish~~
yea..
i knew it!!
if it isnt for da gal u lik or wad..
u won be dat generous at all..
will u w8 for a normal fren??
no..
only w8 for da 1 u like to go to da place with u..
(maybe some of u maybe wondering..
bt i dun wan to write so clear..)

yea..
when he find u..
sure gt other intention..
u think he's so gud??
dun think so..
even when frenz r wrong..
he dun even tell..
let dem wrong den self finish..
dis aint misunderstanding..
i saw it v my own eyes..
WAH!!
u SOOOOOOOOO gud..
SOOOOOOOOOO clever hor~~
if so clever den dun come school la..
come for wad..
adui!!!
(again.. dunwan rite so directly..)
if u think is u..
is u..
if u think not den nt..
dun k..

from now on..
i prefer to keep silent..
i dun wanna talk dat much anymore..
except to those who appreciate me as a fren..
or else??
whenever i wanna talk..
nobody cares..
all dey care r dose who r more popular..
wadeva..
being gud aint getting gud..

to those who care..
thx for ur concern..

operation 13..

da title makes no sense..
jux a code..
a secret code..
secret..
^^

ARGH!!
my eyes..
it burns..
nt rly..
bt it itches..
omg..
muz be infected by my bro's sore eyes..
now is starting to turn red..
TT

den 2day ntg much..
had a meeting v kailin..
a while..
spoke sumthin..
ntg..
YESTERDAY ONCE MORE..
hahaha~
(makes no sense)

den during physics..
omg..
teac rly adui la..
old liao..
she said she told us to bring graph paper..
wad??!!
whole class said no u still insist u told us..
hello??
u hav many class la..
maybe u told other class bt din tell us la..
bt lucky u end up provide us graph paper..
n din scold us..
or else i rly mad at u..

den after school..
unexpectedly..
me n sook fen were asked to attend a meeting v teachers at 1.40..
den go out v YJ makan yee mee..
den eat till too faz..
my tongue burn liao..
><
hurt hurt..
den rush bek..
lik wad i thought..
delay cuz da 1st meeting still on..
haven dismiss..
w8ed outside da bilik mesyuarat..
tick tock~~
den finally..
went in..
sit dere...
listen things..
den gt things eat..
omg..
smells nice..
bt...
i ate b4 coming..
so im full..
no eat..
bt da teachers like very kind la..
insist wan us to eat..
so we ate sumthin lik a desert..
kinda nice..
bt too sweet..
make me feel thirsty..
bt da fried chicken smells nice..
bt no taste..
bt da most important thing is still da teachers..
all lik very kind..
including pn. pauline..
keep wan us eat da rice..XD

omg..
haha

den w8ed till 4.30..
chat v many juniors..
many seems so cool..
bt today gt better bit la..
gt talk v many ppl le..
XD
bt still..
many r still cool..
either too shy or think dey r too gud for me..
><
wadeva la..
time~~
bt after rumah sukan sure less chance stay bek le..
><

nidyooSSS~~

...

changed a lil lil sumthin in my blog...
lil lil..
XD

monday..
haha..
i cant bliv i did dat..
it was so not me..
im nt dat kind of person..
wad person??
hehehe
is...
a person who play sports during PJ..
haha
crazy~

so unexpectedly i played bola tampar..
wow..
so fun~
den we use da ball play football..
nice..
even though lose..
XD

play till very very tired..
hair all messy..
no bring comb..
TT
suan le..
ntg much anyway..
den nothing much happen..
til after school..
rumah sukan str8 after school..
only gt 15 min rest..
TT

during high jump..
unexpectedly i jump over da pole..
yay!
haha~

wow..
rly tired la..
eat a piece of bread at 6..
until 5o'clock no eat..
5 sumthin only eat cup noodle..
so not healthy..
if my parents noe sure scold me..
bt no time ma..
i sacrificed my time for school!!
crazy me..
XD

den nothing special to mention about..
rly many couple in school la..
make me envy so much..
TT
haha
even a small boy win me..
lagi sad..
nvm la..
not dat important oso..
feeling bek to happy mood again..
bt dunno when will it go..
hope it'll stay..

everytime i look at da picture of u..
i will cry..
even im smiling..
tears jux come down..
i cant control it..
i miss u..
very much..
y u hav to leave me so early..
y..
looking at ur pic bring me lots of memories..
i will bare it in my heart..
forever and always..
unless i gt amnesia..XD

Nothing much..

im still..
speechless..
dese few days gt stay back..
looking at dose afternoon sessions..
feel lik communicating with them..
bt..
cant..
is either they r too shy or...
arrogant..
perhaps shy..
bt some of dem rly see u lik nt seeing any1..
n i started to say hi 1st..
gt cold shoulders..
TT
bt somehow..
every1 noe Jy..
bt nt many noes me..
><
maybe they think im too wild..
bt im jux acting it up so dat ppl will think im friendly..
bt unfortunately i went da wrong way..
perhaps i hav be back my own 'serious' look..
haiz..
jux wan to be more friendly..
isit dat hard??
maybe im nt as sociable as him..

argh..
y cant i jux gt dat chance..
more n more ppl hav gf/bf..
telling me im a failure??
TT

Ever since dat day..

ever since dat day..
many leaved me..

ever since dat day..
i lost my power..

ever since dat day..
i hav no confidence in me..

ever since dat day..
...

i rly dunno wad is happening..
lik i said..
u guys treat me warmly..
bt all on a sudden..
every1 is giving me a cold shoulder..
nt every1..
bt mostly..
even the 'non-prefects'..

bt ntg much i can do..
jux be my best..
1 thing dunno is happy or sad..
i think i can accept da fact..
so wad if im nt it..
i will still do my best..
maybe for me or da teac who put hope in me..
even though she dun even rmb my name..
bt at least i tried my best..

if u dunno me..
u might noe wad im saying..
if u noe..
den ntg much..
jux to say..
i will try to be happy..
even though i feel lik giving up..

somehow i feel myself annoying..
sry to da ppl whom i've annoyed ^^
hahaXD

18-19

very tired..
hurt myself..
TT
start from yesterday..
during Pj period..
annie was sick again..
n again..
carry her down..
i rly old le..
after carrying..
my back started to pain..
for a while..
den ntg much happened..
until 2.15..
school finally end..
bt yet..
rumah sukan start at 3..
omg..

went out for food..
den siew wei ate da spags..
den da chicken skin she did nt eat..
den she start playing with food..
chili campur tomato campur apa saja~
den end up she saw a dog..
throw da skin dere..
den dog did nt react..
YET!!
when i was near da dog..
da dog only walk close to da skin..
den it ate it..
omg!!
so gross..
n dirty..
if sumthin happened to da dog..
wei is da 1 to blame..
haha.. XD

den during sports time..
omg..
high jump..
i jumped to fast..
haven reach da pole oredi jump..
bt 1 thing is..
i can jump so far..
over two mattresses..
until my knee knocked on da floor..
as if im jumping for da long jump..
maybe participated in wrong event..
XP
kidding~

end up i think i sprained my legs..
my right knee hurts(knocked on da floor)..
n my left leg jux hurt unexpectedly..
i think is da nerve..
den my back hurts badly..
as if im old..
TT

bt now i think im feeling better..
finally can rest..
laz nite..
i spent whole night doing hw..
moral den sejarah..
omg..
my sejarah rly..
did my notes for lik hours..
n tec use only seconds to finish marking my notes..
wad for doing it..
bt im doing for myself..
nt for dat BIATCH~
yes i purposely add an A in dat..
no spelling mistakes.. XD

den..
2day ntg much happen..
hard to walk..
den experiment for da cells..
unfortunately our group cant c a thing..
boo~~

den ntg much dy..
oh ya..
still gt 1 free apple from cik mang~
cuz gt A in BC(PMR)..
to da form3s..
if u lik apples..
gt A in BC or go to da market n buy 1..
hahaha XD

im trying to be happy dese days..
still kinda hard..
bt trying..
bt when u r happy..
u hav to care abt dose who r nt..
or wadeva..
so hard..
bt i dun c dem doing it for me..
so wad for i shud go n bother so much..
waste of time..

1 more thing..
today we hav caligraphy competition..
is compulsory for every1 to participate now..
using BC lesson..
im quite satisfied with mine..
even though is nt nice at all..
bt i m..
since im nt gud at it..
i can rite oredi gud lo.. ^^

den i rly duno wad is happening now..
kinda complicated..
somehow u guys like me..
bt sumtimes..
u guys jux giv me a cold shoulder..
i dunno whether i shud be hot or cold to u guys..
tell me wad u wan la!!
i noe im nt da head nor assistant anymore..
bt u dun hav to do dat..
haha!!
true frens who abandon when one hs no power anymore..
dis might be a misunderstanding..
bt ish~~

speechless..

n for dose who commented on my previos post..
thx ya all~~ love ya~~

...

dis few weeks r tough..
very hard..

laz friday we had prefects meeting..
now is official..
da thing dat many ppl awaits happen..
suan le ba..
only ppl who understand me noe wad im talking about..
it happened jux as i imagined..

den monday n tuesday..
i dun rmb anything happened..

wednesday..
dis is hard..
i hate it..
i started school happily..
actually not..
after choosing da clubs..
nt rly in mood dy..
den??
Mrs Lee wanted some1 to help her out..
so ying xin saw me coincidently at da bilik guru..
so i went to help..
teac wanted da name list of da top students..
she suggested dat i can either find teac or go class by class ask..
dis is nt da bad part..
so i started my 'journey'..
went up n down of da block..
finding "a teacher"..
den i tried to go to da canteen..
YES!! found her..
bt Pn pauline wanted me to help her with sumthin..
so i went up again..
talked to a guy..
run back down..
went to da canteen..
luckily pn pauline still noe wad to do..
she help me tell 'da teac'..

so 'da teac' came out holding her plates..
i said dat i nid da name list..
den she said she giv it later..
so i said i nid it now..
den she show me da 'im a teacher,listen to me' look..
she wan to put back her stuff 1st..
WT*!!
im working for dis school..
sacrificed my time jux to do ntg dat benefits me..
now i still hav to fake my smile in front of u?!!
so wad if u r a teacher..
manners much?!!!
i might be wrong..
bt logic la!!
"NOW" doesn't mean literally now at the spot..
i mean dat i wan da thing ASAP..
how would i noe wad u still wan to do..
Mrs lee wans it urgently..
n u still slow slow..
OMG!!
spoil my mood for whole day..
yes..
i cried..
bt nobody cares..
perhaps nobody saw it..
yea..
im dat kind of person..
if i gt scolded..
i will cry easily..
bt i try to resist myself from crying..
bt i da lab..
i cried..
so coincidently..
sumthin happened to Annie..
so every1 focus on her..

speaking of which..
dat time was kinda unforgettable..
sumhow..
sumthin is wrong..
annie felt sick..
den using a chair..
3 guys carried it down..
me as a backup..
carry her to da bilik guru..
nt long after..
her mom came..
den again..
carry her down to da car..
dis time gt 1 person is nt dere..
so i carried..
feel kinda dangerous for her..
den reach d car..
carry her in..
when every1 is in serious mood..
suddenly..
1 teacher spoiled da car door..
da handle is spoilt..
den every1 try nt to laugh..
until da car is gone..
indeed it is hilarious..
den 2nd day annie is back..
lucky ntg bad happen..

den thursday..
ntg much happen...
jux choose unit beruniform..
den stomch ache..
n HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my mom..
ate steamboat at desapark city..
dis may be da reason dat im having stomach ache on FRIDAY..
whole day nt feeling well..
dun feel lik going to school bt went..
den many ppl found me..
bt i rly no mood smile to them..
sry..
dun misunderstand anything..

haiz..
frenz..
i rly dunno wad to say abt it..
nt once bt twice..
2 times u guys abandon me to another group..
da 1st time u guys din even tell me which club u guys r choosing..
so i go n campur with yu zhen dem..
go SPBT..
den da 2nd time..
dis time at least gt tell me..
bt so how??
u guys go so early..
din even book a place for me..
until i reach dere oredi full..
ya dis is wad ppl call frens..
den again..
join yu zhen dem go le catur..
actually being with them is happier than being with my 'fren'..
a lil..

den lastly..
i rly dunno y..
keep feeling dat many ppl dislike me..
especially da form 5's..
i hav no idea wad i did..
bt sry if i did sumthin wrong..

n to sum ppl..
i dunno how to say dis..
hating sum1 is nt easy..
da only 1 who will suffer is me..
so i've decided since is a new year..
y don i giv it a new try..
put down everything bad..
go it a new try..
it might be better..
yea..
i might lost..
bt i won lose my dignity..
i will work hard for my future..
i nid to become mature..
no more childish thinking..
is L-A-M-E , LAME!!!

1st day of school..

school is lik shit!!
d@mn frustrated on da 1st day..
school nt systematic at all..
wad oso haven arrange..
till laz minute only say everything..
think we r gods??
wadeva..
whole day of frustration & boredom!!

whole day..
sit dere..
do nothing..
think nothing..
talk nothing..
no1 to talk with..
ntg to talk abt..
wad were we doing in da holidays??!!
until bek to skul oso ntg say..

cme to skul with a happy feeling..
came back moody..
ntg much to talk abt..
since is bored like he!!..

dunno how long can i stand dis..
i hate my class..
hate my sitting position..(dunno c wad)
i hate my sj teac..(even haven start teach..)
BT I HATE IT OREDI!!

argh!!
dunno will u c it anot..
i hereby wish u..
CHOY YIP SENG
&
LIM SIN HUI

HAPPY BIRTHDAY~