101st day of waiting

101st day of waiting..Tue
2day..
went to skul extraordinarily early..

den assist xh up da stage..
from wad i can c..
he is indeed doing a better job..
1 voice..
den every1 silent..
for me..
dis seldom happen..

dis is another step down..

den in prefect's room..
dey wan arrange da place for da next persaraan..
so jux stood dere..

den went bek class..
ntg to do much...
recess..
ntg much oso..
bek to class..
no teac..
dey say wushu gt performance..
den since no routine..
no ppl..
no time..
so jux cancel..

den go bek class...
read newspaper..
den sleep..
when i woke up..
cramp..
den rly cant move..
took me minutes to recover..

even im physically recovered..
mentally..
im nt..
when i c u guys together..
my heart started to hurt..
u guys..
playin happily..
u guys r meant for each other..
a princess always belong to the prince..
nt a beggar from the streets..
im nt ur knight in shining armor all along..
i once thought i was..
bt..
fate..

when i c u guys..
my heart..
cant stop feeling sourish..
bt..
all i can do is..
SMILE..
fake 1..
at least ppl wun ask so much..
bt da harder i smile..
da worse my heart feels..
im afraid tears might come out..

shud i rly giv up..
most importantly..
can i giv up??
m i able to do dat??

as for da post..
yea..
is jux a post la..
no big deal rite..??
wrong!!
to me..
is nt jux a post..
without it..
im jux a nobody agn..
wher no1 will notice me at all..
no1 will recognize me at all..

now is either i hav dis post or ntg..
cuz i hav no experience in any other things..
bt i noe..
he has a higher advantage than me..
n i noe he wud be chosen with a higher rate..

i rly dunno how..
hw can anything help me??
i wanna be free!!