155th day of waiting

155th day of waiting..Sun
woke up..
prepare for tuition...
den sit v sifu..
rly whole day din talk to them..
bt dey din even bother abt my presence..

den bek home..

den nite eat at aman puri..
so many ppl..
w8ed for 1 hour++
den weirdly..
saw dat family agn..
every sunday go out eat oso so lucky can c dem de..
fate??
even go diff place oso can c dou..
@@

nite..
jux play ps2..
quite satisfy with it..

bt..
i still feel moody..
dere's a lot of things im feeling..

i dun think im gud in socializing..
i dunno hw to say dis..
maybe is nt dat my frenz fault..
everything is with me!!!
im da 1 is always da problem!!
even in primary skul..
i feel dat my fren treat me kinda badly..
i was excited dat maybe i can come to a new place..
dun hav to stand dat..
bt now..
i think my thought is all wrong..
dey r nt da prob..
i m da 1..
now even in new skul..
i still feel so..
y??
is nt cuz of dey treat me bad..
is nt cuz of dey dun appreciate me..
all is me!!
im da main cause of it..
my attitude..
my everything..
perhaps..
dis is me..
i jux cant change it..
maybe im too stubborn..

ppl keep saying ketua pengawas..
bt..
i noe it myself..
i jux cant do it..
i dun hav da power..
i dun hav everything..
i noe maybe sum of u oso feel dat..
i jux dun worth it..

perhaps..
im born to live alone..
im nt a society person..
i dun feel lik living anymore..
i rly hope..
dis will be da laz chance i can breathe..

i dun wanna live anymore!!!