19th day of waiting..

19th day of waiting.. Thur
2day..
im very very very moody now..

dis morning..
is my turn to go up stage..
weirdly..
2day is akwardly weird..
so many teachers there..
many pengumuman..
den pn. Norli oso tried to train me..
damn scary man..
den she stand bside me n wanted me to read..
omg..
so many errors..
many wrong..
omg..
den teac say..
mana blh macam ini baca..
den tell kailin teac me..
den i was lik..
omg..
i dunno wad i did..
bt i rly wan thank her..
cuz she rly gav me an experience..
a special 1..
im nt sure i can do it anot..
im rly rly afraid now..
i dun hav wad it takes to be 1..

den go hav meeting..

den go bio lab..
den PJK..
ish..
i din even noe nid to pass up..
so y wud i pass up..
i din wad u asked for..
bt i din pass up..
den i jux gt hit by a cane..
dis is rly..
ARGH!!!!!
in dis scold..
i wasn't hit by a cane b4..
except for da 1 Pn.Tong(retired) gav..
i still rmbed till now..
every1 making noise..
i sit dere..
quietly..
dinn take out book only..
den i gt hit..
others gt book bt noisy din..
ish..

den dis time..
din pass up bt i did..
oso kena..
ARGH!!!

den suan..
went down..
dun feel lik playing..
so jux took my shirt..
den go stand bside badminton court..
chat v sailou..
haiz..
den shouted a lil..
cuz litter bugs..
den dat SHIT..
haiz..
bully my sailou..
feel self useless..
cant 'protect' him..
sry..

den dey went bek up..
so went pingpong dere stand..
went dewan..
saw ky's drawing..
wow..
better than mine ALOT!!

den..
haiz..
recess..
y..
my plan always gt ruined..
nearly..
i jux gt a close chance..
den..
u guys come ruin it..
...
blablabla..

den bi..
math..
all ntg much..

so went bek..
ntg much..
at gate agn saw sailou..
he told me..
his sj project gt prob..
den sumhow..
my mood turn bad..
cuz i cant help him when he's in nid..
my CPU is nt with me..
ntg is dere to connect dat damn printer..
rly feel useless..
cant help when he's in nid..
...

...
...
...

den tuition..
very..
haiz..
everytime oso..
jealous..
ARGH!!!

bek jor..
did ntg bt msn..

...
no mood..
dunnno y..
no appetite eat jor..
eat 1 bite..
den gt vomit de feel..
very hard only finiz 1 bowl of rice..
...

moody..
dunno y..
since std 1..
im very sensitive..
especially when it comes to frenz..
dunno y..
i always hav da feel dat i can hav da person to be my fren..
only me..
y do i keep having dis kind of thinking..
it is rly a suffer for me..
i jux cant control myself..
from thinking abt it..
im sry abt it..
i hate it..
bt i jux cant change it..
perhaps is a part of me..
my signature personality..
dat's wad makes me guilty of livin my life..


im rly rly rly..
frustrated of myself..
i hate myself...

mui...
din chat v u muxh lately..
bt i noe u gt some prob de..
jux dun think so much ba..
do wadeva dat makes u happy..

sailou..
u oso..
dun think so much jor ba..
u will hav da chance de..