34th day of waiting

34th day of waiting..Fri
2day is a day wher my stress all came out..

dis morning..
rly feel uncomfortable..
i vomited twice..
fortunately..
in da toilet..
bt..
nobody knew..
nobody saw..
dey saw me coming out with tears in my eyes..
so dey tot i cried..
rly suffering..
sourish..
da feeling..
rly bad..
dat was da time i needed sum1..
sum1 to care abt me..
sum1 to ask whether m i ok..
bt..
nobody was dere..
so jux did everything myself..
since i've grown up..
nid to do thing by myself..
bt i rly hope for sum1 to care..
bt..


den as usual..
did everything..
feeling better..
worse..
better..
worse..
keep changing..

den ntg much..
physics..
we do bernoulli's principle experiment..
is kinda ok..
bt din rly noe wad r we doing wrong..
cuz a lil weird..
bt nt bad..
da things r indeed fragile n da rubber very hard to stuck..
haiz..
bt i managed to do it..
or shud i say WE..

den ntg much..
go for meeting..
many things hav changed..
or shud i say will be changed..
after that went out dewan..
found sailou..
sat v him..
listen to singing competition..
den only i knew it..
i cant mix with dem..
sat dere..
cant rly talk..
maybe a lil..
bt sumhow..
jux feel lik dere's wall..

den he told me a 'long' story..
sum1 nt feeling well..
den another person asked him to send sum1 a msg..
ask sum1 to take care..
den start sms until very stupid..
actually i dun rly gt it..
bt dis 'long' story which took 30 sec to tell..
hav kept me waiting for hours..
==
rly rly zd..

den..
silence..
saw u guys playing..
bt i jux cant fit in..
so jux listen to song to jux distract myself..

rite now..
dis moment..
im stressed out..
i cant stand it..
i wanna leave..
bt i cant..

many burden r on me..
i dunno how handle..
prefect's thing..
i nid to think abt da position of F3 prefects..
even though they chose..
bt..
still gt some conflict..
nid to solve it..
bt dis is jux a lil minor..
bt i noe many wun lik da decisions..
pls!!
tell me how 2 do..

den monday..
principal suddenly go n say..
pengawas nid to start it..
n is my turn!!
how??!!
ARGH!!

exam coming soon..
so is my organ exam..
im nt prepared for it!!
total OMG!!
ARGH!!

friendship!
y m i stil being so sensitive..
n u!!
y..
whenever i saw sum1 chattin v u..
i will feel..
very very angry..
y??!!
i dun hav da right to stop u from socialling v others..
bt..
i jux gt jealous whenever i see u..
i rly wanna be with u..
bt.
i noe ur heart is with him..
how..

TELL ME WHAT TO DO!!
tell me..
i dun wanna be so sensitive anymore..
i dun wanna be so bossy anymore..
i dun wanna be so selfish anymore..
tell me wad to do..
pls..

STRESS STRESS STRESS!!
+ im sick for weeks..
ARGH!!

i rly nid peace to calm myself..
CALM