38th day of waiting

38th day of waiting..Tue
2day..
not feeling well agn..
laz nite i rly no mood..
slept at 2 o'clock..
cried agn..
bt i dun rly noe y..
i hate my self is all i noe..

den dis morning..
feel lik vomiting agn..
dey said yik shen can follow me dis week..
den y is he stil bz v disiplin things..
fine..
i dun hav energy to talk to any1 by then..
so i jux do wad im managed to do..
jux walk around..
c how he do his duty..
den ntg much..
went bek up..
suddenly..
feel lik vomiting..
asked to go to toilet..
den went down..
saw 'them'..
den i went in toilet..
vomited..
den went bek up..
drank a lil water..
den finiz bm..
during da switch..
i went down agn..
saw dem agn..
dis call fren..
care oso din care a bit..
so n agn i went to da toilet..
tried to vomit..
bt wad i vomited is water..
da water i drank jux now..
den done jor..
walked bek..
pass by agn..
ask oso din ask abit..
fine!!
'frenz'

den went bek up..
ntg much..
normal things..

den moral..
hav to stay at dewan..
for da performance..
den sang our song..
since we hav no rehersal..
so..
terrible..

den physic..
oso ntg much..
teac quite funny..
den bek home walk alone..
cuz no1 to acc. with..

2day my mood is terrible..
i hate it very much!!
n is all bcuz of u..
omg..
da best actor award shud go to u!!
nt me!!
im nt as gud as u!!
say wad i dun wan bother u guys..
i will leave..
den end up??
u din do it!!
den??
no wonder u r so nice all on a sudden..
all bcuz u did sumthin u noe i dun lik..
den u dun wan me to noe it..
too bad!!
i knew it!!
say 1 thing..
do another!!
cant u jux keep ur promise for once??
everytime trying to act..
to hope that ppl will pity u!
say wad..
u will die..
dun wan live anymore laz year..
den end up??
still living here!
say 1 thing..
do 1 thing..

pls!!
do wad u said!!
stay away from my life!!
now i rly rly HATE u!!
pls!!

u oredi made me miserable for months laz year..
nt agn!!
u gt lots n lots n lots of bro..
y muz u keep bothering da 1 i care??
now u make him moody oso..
happy now??
u dun lik ppl force u..
den y u keep forcing ppl??
SH!T @SS!!
i rly dun understand y..
y muz u make urself looks better than me??
whenever im with sumthin im gud at..
u will surely make it lik u r better!!
ARGH!!

mom..
i dun understand..
y cant u jux support me..
even if u r worried..
y cant u jux say nicely..
nid to say lik im worthless..
"u cannot handle de la..
let other ppl do la.."
do u noe??
it rly hurts me..
yes..
is very stressful..
bt i hope i can gt support..
if even u guys dun giv me support..
who will??

haiz..
dese 2 days..
rly mentally depressed..
i nid to thx my frenz..
weii,hui,hsien,aii,Yan
n of cuz my sailou..
thx for making me cheer up~~
rly appreciate it!