80th day of waiting

80th day of waiting..Tue
morning..
woke up..
HARI MERDEKA!
bt nid tuition oso..
weird thing is..
laz nite no live broadcast of any countdown..
or langsung dun hav countdown..

went tuition..
stood outside..
w8ing for teac to come..
den came..
do triangles..
luv it!
bt rly funny..
sin can do 1 step find dou answer de thing..
i use tan to do..
den end up dunno how many steps..
wasted hw many time..
den do dou subs. method..
crazy!
bt end up answer same..
can consider satisfy~
gt brain^^
haha

den receive dou a msg..
relief~!
happier..
bek in mood^^

den bek home..
ntg much..
type paper for mom..
raining heavily..
is dat a sign..
dat symbolizes my feeling??

den went to eat at 'dai yan' restaurant..
LDP free 2day..
ate many "wo tip"..
since grandpa lik n ordered many..

den bek home..
continue typing..
chatting..

Sailou..
dun so "sienz" jor..
anything..
jux go release out!!
dun keep in heart..
1 day will bcum crazy if lik dat..
nid any help jux find me..

11.55p.m.
guess u shud hav left by now..
after dat 'bye'..
tears came out of my eyes..
wad m i doing?!!
she's jux going for a vacation..
cry for wad!!
i rly hate myself..
ARGH!!!
bt at least..
i can call u..

wish u
！！一路顺风！！

79th day of waiting

79th day of waiting..Mon
morning..
prepared for assembly..
ntg much..
sumhow feeling much better talking in public..
den our skul group2 de performance..
nice~
quite funny..

den ntg much..
went bek to class..
ntg..
do add math..
den recess..
den bek class..
den ntg..
w8 to bek home..
BM gt 66..
at least gt A-..

den bek home..
rested..
den went for tuition..
quite funny xia..

approximately 2 weeks i cant c u..
hate dis kind of feeling..
maybe i cant cope myself with da situation..
cuz i can c u mostly everyday..
bt now..
haiz..
nid to resist for 2 weeks..
ARGH~!!!

78th day of waiting

78th day of waiting..Sun
2day..
1 oclock only wake up..
cuz laz nite late sleep..
wait reply till holding da laptop slept jor..
den bro helped me tidy up~

den go tuition..
bek home..

went out for a jog..
3 rounds..
5.31.4
dunno fast enuf anot..
bt i dun think so..
cuz i was kinda slow..

den jux dis 3 rounds..
dunno y made my body rly uncomfortable..
my heart lik pumping out..
den stomach aching..
WTH!!
long no exercise oso no nid lik dis de ma..
if gt illness den tell me la..
dun make me exercise so long..
den torture me lik dis..
dunno y..
suddenly wanna be athletic..
wanna jog everyday if possible..
i will try..

den bek jor..
slept..
den so hard only managed to sleep..
dad come n wake me up..
ish~

den go dinner..
bek home..
ntg much..
OMG..
cant bliv it..
so many ppl leaving..
yan go Aus.
weii go korea..

me??
maybe can go sing. bt dunno wan go anot..
afraid will be bored n cant on9..
so shud i go??
bt im going kuantan for sure..
bt too bad dat particular morning..
i hav to attend school BC replacement..
cannot go kuantan early..
kuantan da best..
can swim + can on9!
SHIOK-nya~

now..
rly dunno how tahan for 2 weeks..
cant c..
cant call..
cant talk..
miss de le..
TT
y wan torture me lik dis..
y!!!

77th day of waiting

77th day of waiting..Sat
a roughly brief abt yesterday..
took our addmath paper..
rly sad..
i nearly gt full marks..
if i were given 5 more minutes..
i can do it!!
bt..
n i can win if i finiz dat..
bt i cant blame on anything..
he managed to do in time..
means he deserve to be better than me..
i cant do it in time means im nt gud enuf..
nid to accept da truth..

den nite watch dragonball evolution..
rly zd..
da storyline damn faz de..
very very rush..
bt i lik da graphic..

den dis morning..
went to skul..
whole skul nt many ppl..
3 forms only nid 4 class..
n nt all class are full..
none of it are..
form 4 only occupied half a class..
da fewest of all..
bestari only gt 4 ppl..

den math..
ntg much..
after dat play uno..
won 1st round..
when 2nd round..
den moral teac came in..
keep uno cards..
do moral..
den finiz jor..
bingo..
den recess..
play cho di..
den BC!!!
TT
i rly dun lik to do bc..
especially summary..
bt no choice..
hav to..
TT

den bek home..
boring~
whole day at skul very sienz..
rly rly waste time..
can sleep so long de!!!

den organ..
learn sum few new things..

den bio tuition..
damn sleepy..

den go eat fatty crab~
yum~
lazy post pic..
my fav crab sauce + fried rice + chicken wing!!
BEST!!!
satisfy..
ate a lot..

den i notice sumthin..
cuz when i start to turn moody..
i feel lik vomiting..
rly hate dat feeling..

i wanna live happily!!
bt can i??
can i be stress-free??

i wanna be happy..
pls pls pls..
i dun wanna k so much jor..
bt can i??

keep saying opposite things dese days..
i wan dis..
bt i end up saying dat..
bt in my heart..
i hope dat dey will noe i wan dis..
bt..
how many will noe n und??
i rly wanna noe...
...

76th day of waiting

76th day of waiting..Fri
ntg much i can say..
ntg much i wanna say..

hav been trying to act myself to be happy whole day..
dere r sum rly happy times..
bt dere r times wher i force myself to be happy..
bt actually..
i wasnt happy..

at 1st..
i was started to turn moody when i 1st noe 'sum1's results..
i was moody cuz i couldn't help..
den trying da way to help..

den suddenly..
i knew abt sumthin..
i rly dun und..
I HATE EVERYTHING!!!!!

难道这样又有错吗？？
难道这样也错！！
我真的不明白··
我也不想再去装开心了··
也没有东西值得我去开心了···
就连···
···
算了吧···

以后也不再干涉其他人的事了！！
不理这么多了··
一切就让他过去··
而且在你们心中··
我也不算是什么要好朋友···
好知己···

今后的我···
也只好孤军作战！！
自己一个··
挨过这中学生涯··

75th day of waiting

75th day of waiting..Thur
2day..
went on stage agn..
ntg much..
at class..
ntg to do..
jux sit dere n listen..

den pjk..
go play ping-pong agn..
haiz..
still dat bad..
XD
playin till half..
pn. tay came..
n say wan play v her bro anot..
den FW played v him..
c da way he play oredi noe he noes how 2 play well..
bt maybe long time no play..
so..
a lil error..
den continue play..
recess..
ntg much..
talk to mama abt performance etc.

den go down..
asked da students to go bek class..
da basketball fellows..
haiz..
dey din play jor..
sit at da seat dere..
den i went dere..
ask dem faster go bek class..
cuz u nvr noe when will a teacher come..
den i say u noe de la..
later gt teac up stairs..
den pn lee stand at dere jor..
1 2 3 4 5 come up..
omg..
i rly zd..
haiz..
den teac ask me leave 1st..
den dunno jor..

den bek class..
ntg much..
den found mrs lee..
ask abt da kertas kerja thing..
den she said she dun wan me 2 disappoint her..
actually hearing wad she said..
indeed im pleased to hear dat..
bt i noe myself..
based on da qualifications..
n wad so eva..
his is better than mine..
for a i-dunno-who-r-u-bt-i-gonna-choose-u type of principal..
of cuz choose him la..
everything seems better than me..
bt no matter wad da answer is.
i hav no choice 2 accept it..
now.
is all up 2 fate..
is everything..
or NOTHING..

haiz..
den went bek to class..
math teac change jor..
since pn maz. is havin her holiday~
den change 2 dis man teac~
den 2day only c dem preparing for da performance..
XDXD

den bek home..
ntg much..
slept..
tuition..
physics..
chapter 5:light..
a very hard-to-understand topic..
bt after saimun teach..
und jor a lot!
at school lik rocket~!
langsung dunno wad she ngap~
den chem~
da salts..
easier to rmb abt solubility~
All NO3
CL (ex. Persatuan Agama Hindu,Pb Ag Hg)
SO4 (ex. Persatuan Bahasa Cina, Pb Ba Ca)
den CO3, O, OH all cannot ex. K,Na,NH4..

lame~

den bek..
chat..
v many unexpected ppl..
kinda 'bz' xia~

haha..
congratz 2 form 3~
exam over jor..
bt dis is only da beginning..
PMR is around da corner..

2 dose ppl..
who wanna make me mad or wadeva..
guess wad??
u wun gt da chance..
i wun be affected by ur damn feeling..
2 dose who hate me or wadeva..
jux hate as u wish..
as long i did wad i think i shud do..
i dun k~
u think u're everything??
NO!

haha~
cant bliv i chatted v her lik dat..
is so not like me..
haha..

my happiness = ur luck
HAHAHA

74th day of waiting

74th day of waiting..Wed
2day din go skul..
absent..
cuz i wan prac b4 i go exam..
den woke up at 11.00..
nande..
can sleep so long..

after wake up..
start practicing..
tick-tock~
argh~!
cham lo..
wan reach jor..
faz faz prepare..
den rush dere..
reach jor..
very very nervous..
bt cant prac..
den w8 for my turn outside..
find ppl sms..
bt bz tuition..
suan le..

den sat outside..
w8-ing my turn..
OMG!
damn nervous..

den went in..
2 examiner..
1 friendly-looking guy..
1 strict-looking lady..

den play 1st repertoire..
"I WON'T LAST A DAY WITHOUT YOU"
omg..
at 1st stil ok..
den play..
till half gt a lil error..
den my legs..
start to shake..
terribly..
very very horrible..
bt continued playing..
==

den 2nd..
own arrangement..
dey choose "THE SHOW"..
den play..
ntg much..

den 3rd..
improvisation..
say easy nt easy..
say hard nt hard..
only gt 1 section accidentally wrong a lil..
TT

4th..
hearing..
da chord keep wrong..
bt my right hand din wrong..
haha..
so dunno gud anot..
only gt chord prob..

den bek jor..
haiz..
dis time kinda shit de..
TT
hope can pass oso..
haiz..
bt i dun lik C..
wuu~~

hate it when im nervous..
den bek home..
chat..

den type mom de papers..
type jor very long..
finally finiz..
keep printing n printing..
==
tired jor..

haiz..
dese few days..
rly moody..
bt after da exam..
felt much better..

to those who rly care abt me..
thx..
i noe who r dey..
who r not..

no matter wad..
thx to those who rly rly helped me..
n cared abt me..
luv ya^^

lastly..
I WAN MY MCD!!!
sailou a!!!
mux buy for me!!!

73rd day of waiting

73rd day of waiting..Tue
early to skul..
slept..
den suddenly think 2molo im nt going..
so decided to go up stage..

den ntg much..
went bek class..
sat alone..
den 'sleep'..
den jux went out n stroll along..
a.k.a. ponteng..

den bek jor..
slept..
den BC..
den Sj..
during SJ..
group 2 gt performance..
very funny xia..
cuz haven fully prepared..
so kinda chaotic..
bt very funny..

den recess..
den bek class..
moral teac din come..
wonder y..
den once agn..
alone..
sat dere..
bt thx lekkhong n yihui 2 come acc me..
chatted n played a lil..
dat yihui...
kept taking off his pants..
showing his fur..
==

den went physics..
learn how to do paper 3..
den teac din let us go bek ASAP..
wan answer a stupid Q..

den bek home..

whole day rly no mood..
when i c u guys..
i rly lost everything..
no mood at all..

im nt blaming any1..
im blaming myself..
for being such a failure..

y cant i jux at least success in anything..
all dese problems has made me..
urgh..
no mood to practice for 2molo's exam..
i rly hope i can gt da 24 hours..
2 be ur bf..
for at least 24 hours..
cuz i rly nid dat mood..
i hav no mood to prac..
i prac for times bt keep playing it wrongly..
bt y..
y cant u giv me a chance??
nt even once??

sumhow..
i dunno wad i wan..
rly thx 2 dose who cares abt me..
dose who rly rly rly care..
i noe who..
rly thx..

bt seriously..
dese few days..
i wun rly hav da mood..
bt thx for caring..

72nd day of waiting(2)

2nd post for today..

2day..
my day is very very very..
sad..

dis is da worst day ever..
ever since dat interview..
my mood has oredi changed..
i wasn't in mood..
cuz my performance is rly bad..
teac asked a lot of things..
bt my answer..
all normal answers..
ntg special..
all my qualifiation cant stand his..
n he is rly perfect for everuthing..
i dunno how..
he gt str8 As..
gud in sports..
gud in co-curriculum..

yea..
in my mind..
im responsible..
bt i regretted i din say it out..

now everything is too late..
yea..
dey still hav to vote..
bt..
i oredi noe da answer..
who wud wanna choose sum1 with lower qualification..
when dere is 1 better 1..
+ dey dunno me much..
dey dunno our attitude..
based on da qualification..
he is better..
A LOT!!

since then..
my mood..
seriously dropped..
nt rly in mood..
bt i tried to fake a smile in front of my frenz..

den jux went home alone..
with sadness in my mind..

den went home..
rly feeling lik finding sum1 2 talk to..
bt sailou oso bz v his exam..
so dun intend to bother him..
keep it with myself is enuf..

den tuition dat time..
i went dere..
u saw me..
bt u jux kept on doing ur things..
den i jux decided to stand aside..
den he came..
he did not know u were dere..
bt when he approached dere..
sumhow..
u jux woke up n came towards us..
is dis coincidence??
or..
dat time i din think much..

bt then..
during sj..
i heard a 'news'..
saying dat u guys..
...
was dat jux an 'illusion'??
wad he saw..
was it true??

when i heard dat..
an urge came into me..
an urge to cry..
he knew dat..
n keep saying dat he shudn't tell me..
den i controlled myself..
trying nt to cry..
den faked a smile..
trying to convince him dat im ok..
bt da more i fake..
da more my heart hurts..

den staring at da clock..
wondering when can i go bek..
i rly cant take it anymore..
da tears are all around my eyes..
going to fall..
trying to resist it..
i bite myself..
jux to control it..
leaving scars on my fingers..

finally..
time to go bek..
i str8 away..
went into da car..
held 2 cushions..
hug dem n cried..
on sum songs so dat dad cudn't listen..
den tears dropped continuously..
i rly cant resist..
den b4 reaching..
tried to hold back..

den reached..
went into room..
on com..
saw a fb msg..
dis time..
tears dropped agn..
drastically..
i rly cant stop..
kept crying..
for quite sum time..

rly feel lik finding sum1 to talk to..
abt everything..
bt..
rite now i can only keep it to myself..
i will jux fake smile to them..
cuz i dun wan dem to think so much..

让我自己一个吧···
我不想再装笑了···
每装一次··
心就仿佛被刺一刀··

rite now..
im a total failure..
da gal i lik luvs him..
da post in prefects oso let him gt it..
even is unofficially..
bt instincts tell me dat dose r true..
i rly m a failure..
i can do ntg..
living here oso useless...
USELESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

71st, 72nd day of waiting

71st day of waiting..Sun
woke up a lil late..
i dreamnt of sumthin bad..
n oso sumthing gud..
ok..
in my bad dream..
"HE" sumhow managed to make sailou dun wan choi me anymore..
==
ish..
da 2nd dream is..
i sumhow sat bside her..
n held her hand for no reason..
bt she din reject..
bt she held my hand tighter!!
dat was rly lik in paradise..
bt after waking up..
i kinda miss it..
bt lucky dat da 1st dream aint true..

den wake up n prepare..
finiz breakfast..
den go tuition..
2day de room smells rather weird 2day..
dunno wad kind of smell..
den sy din come...
den after dat dream..
whenever i thought of her..
i will feel sad..
y shud i let u go at da 1st place..

den after tuition..
went to rawang for dinner..
den had my haircut..

den ntg much..
I RLY WANNA SMS!!!
bt my bro checked my phone..
dis month payment 80.91!!!
omg!!!
so faz de..
rly hate de..
bt i nid to stop myself from sms-ing too much..
rly hate de!!

72nd day of waiting..Mon
morning..
went to skul..
den go prepare for assembly..
form 3 go bek class for exam 1st..
den..
prepared everything..
luckily everything went well..
den chemistry..
took my paper..
73 only..
actually 67 de..
bt teac calc wrong n i added 1 mark..
so 73..
he 83!!
y..
dis i lose agn..
dat i will lose..
argh!!

den addmath haven finiz..
recess..
after recess..
din go bek class..
go for interview..
den when she asked all da questions..
i start to feel dat..
i dun hav da qualification..
my studies is worse den his..
my achievement is less than his..
after dat interview..
i dun rly hav mood..
cuz i noe..
dis time he will sure be chosen..
im ntg...

den bek home.
asked my dad abt my mom's case..
luckily ntg wrong..
non of da sides r wrong..
den so coincidence da chief's wife..
is a clerk in my mom's school..
haha..

everytime..
when every1 think dat de thing belongs to me..
or i will gt it..
den end up..
he is da 1 who's gonna gt it..
i rmb laz time..
every1 thought dat me n she wud be together..
bt end up..
she nvr accepted me..
however..
she accepted him..

rite now..
many ppl thinks dat im gonna be da next head..
even though da answer haven come out yet..
bt i can predict da answer..

everything is jux a dream..

不是你的就不是你的···
没资格就是没资格···
所有所发生的东西都只是一场梦···
该醒来了···

70th day of waiting

70th day of waiting..Sat
2day went skul..
sailou gt go wo..
nan de..
bt whole skul..
add up oso dnno gt 50 anot..
maybe more a lil..
damn few ppl 2day..
whole form 4..
less than 1 class came..
(prefects excluded)
den after 'assembly'..
den change into our pj shirt..
den start kursus jor..
1st thing is..
da thing i hate the most..
KAWAD..
i rly dunno how de..
dunno deir commands..
dunno wad to do..
which leg to step..
ish..

den da worst part has arrived..
sumthin related to 'disaster'..
dun hav to say much..
guess la..

finally over..
den discuss abt group name..
i was in group 8..
4 guys 4 girls..
6 chinese 2 indians..
we r THE WARRIORS~!!
haha..
actually dey came up with many names..
such as:
pro, vortex, SB "sumthin",Obama..
Prefects united..
bt sum1 used united..
so decided to change n used my ideas..

den think bout tepukan..
ours actually sheeni gt idea..
bt sum say too hard..
den i took ideas from munyee n others..
den created1..
112, 221, 1231 23..

den start station..
our 1st game is obstacles crossing..
kinda hard to ask dem cooperate..
den some of dem left da line..
den da F5s dun let dem follow me..
asked me to continue moving..
so i did..
haiz..
den kinda hard to communicate..

den 2nd station..
water transporting..
haiz..
our group rly teruk..
1st time still can..
change jor method worse..

den 3rd station..
d flags..
dis is wad im gud at..
bt da thing is..
dey choose dose who rly dunno ikrar to read..
den dey muz memorize..
haiz..
dat took a lot of time..
finally~

den 4th station..
bilik kesihatan..
1st aid..
haha..
no stress..

5th station..
da dice thing..
ntg much..
every1 started to ask y r we so late..

6th station...
da eating thing..
dose food r disgusting..
ewww!!!
i HATE tomato sauce..
yuck!!!
bt muz eat..

den 7th station..
da communication thing..
rly funy..
from sumthin simple can change to sumthin terrible..

den jux go dewan n rest~
after that..
hav breakfast..
nasilemak+chicken+syrup..
cant bliv i ate it..
nt much of a rice person in the morning..

den prepared for time sharing..
prepared..
den dey started to force ppl to perform..
xh dance ren yi men..
waihong singing n dancing..
den chen hsien dance "M-legs"(sexy~~)
den yauz sing to carmen..
(many ppl cheered..
bt i saw sum din)

oh SH!T..
im nt dat kind of person..
den start to feel nervous..
+headache oso..
bt i nid to rush bek..
so i requested to present earlier..
after present..
den dey started dose things agn..
dey wanted bad romance..
which is wad i;ve thought of b4..
(luck is with me)
since i've prepared..

den danced~
1st time in da public..
i noe im nt dat gud..
bt dis time im satisfy enuf..
haha..
weird bt happy^^
den after dat jux rush bek..

dis kursus..
i rly feel..
happy^^
1stly..
thx dose form 5s to organize..
2ndly..
during da stations..
our group..
sumtimes jux cant communicate well..
bt i tried my bez to giv encouragement..
yes..
im very depressed n sumtimes a lil angry..
bt i try to giv encouragement..
rather than scolding..
bt u guys din let me down..
bt im nt rly a gud leader myself..
i cant control ppl..
i cant giv commands..
i cant do much..
failure..

den jux go for organ class..
haiz..
exam coming soon..
den..
bek home..
decided nt to go to da steamboat..
cuz of many factors..
i noe i wun be happy dere..
so wondering shud i go..
den so coincidence..
head feeling drowsy n dizzy..
so decided to stay at home..

im jux afraid now..
afraid dat u guys wud be together agn..
...

n to sum1..
i rly dun lik wad u did..
y cant u jux keep ur promise for once??
n stop annoying me..
y cant u jux leave em alone??



sailou..
rly wanna thx u..
for acc-ing me..
haiz..
2day no take pic v u..
TT
next time muz!!!

69th day of waiting

69th day of waiting..Fri
2day..
jux as usual..
perhimpunan seems awkwardly noisy 2day..
wanted to ask waihong to shout..
since dun hav da mood to shout..
isit lucky or wad??
when he wan shout den every1 quiet..
end up no shout..
den bek class..
addmath..
teac late came in..
den do do do..
nt easy oo..
bt i still noe how do..
den end up..
5 minute lagi..
laz 2nd question!!!
rush..
den laz question..
still nid time think..
den do do xia.
end jor..
argh!!!
haven finish!!
my method is correct!!!
only my negative gt prob..
so i cant find da answer!!
argh!!!
if i gt more time..
argh~!!!
dat time rly no mood..
din choi any1..
jux sit alone..
'sleep'..
i cant bliv..
my tears rly fell..
dat time..
i rly dunno y..
i cant bliv..
i nvr cried for exam..
bt dis time..
i cried..
nt bcuz i cant finiz all..
bcuz im nt satisfy!!
i noe how 2 do it!!
bt i dun hav enuf time to do it!
den i lose to u cuz i dun hav enuf time!!
so wad if i noe i can do it..
bt nobody noes..
every1 will only think he is da best..
every1 will soon worship him..
n da most important is..
she will only find him..
once agn..
i've lost to u..

whole day no mood..
at class keep sleep..
den recess..
went toilet..
den came up.
stood dere n watch basketball..
den watch till..
deir frenz came n say..
ask dem come up jor..
start exam jor..
den in my mind..
wher r my frenz??
deir frenz came n inform dem..
bt mine??
dunno..

after doing sivik..
sleep agn..
wake up..
oredi pass up paper jor..
zd..

den 30 min jux wasted lik dat..
once agn..
i saw dem together..
i rly feel..
urgh~!!!

den finiz school..
slowly..
i walked out of skul..
den jux go home..
nt much..
jux nt rly in mood..
den tuition..
do trigonometry n circle..
luv it..
den started to talk to Hsien only..
very funny la v him around..

den bek home..
jux..
feel..
alone..
tired of everything..
once agn..
i've failed..

perhaps da failure shud jux leave n nvr interrupt dem..
perhaps..
we r nt meant to be together..
perhaps..
im meant to be alone..
hope 2molo de kursus can cheer me up..
bt i've decided to nt go da steamboat..
i noe i wun be happy dere..
so better dun affect deir mood..

for those who cared abt me 2day..
sry i gav u guys a cold shoulder..
dat time i was rly moody..
n i rly wan thx u guys..
for caring me..
thx...

67th, 68th day of waiting

67th day of waiting..Wed
exam..
math..
rush rush rush..
laz 3 minutes..
still drawing graph..
den end jor..
bt sneakily..
i quickly finiz da laz question..
luckily managed to finiz..
den moral..
oso..
laz sentence haven rite end jor..
suan..
nt important de..

after recess rly free..
no exam..
n din bring books..

den told them..
abt F1 dat gal..
bt i rly wanna noe how u feel..
u asked me excitedly..
abt wad happened..
bt r u feeling da same??
if u dun feel anything after hearing it..
dat only proves 1 thing..
u hav no feelings towards me..
actually i noe it.
bt y do i still wanna lie to myself..
y..

68th day of waiting..Thur
morning im in charge..
so asked weii to take my krg book to sailou..
thx ya^^
den go up class..
study a lil..
exam..
BC..
nt dat hard as i expected..
bt i rly dunno da origin/author..
din memorize at all..
den simply wrote..
both wrong..
bt others was quite easy..

den recess..
study for physics..
dunno apa lai de..
den exam..
haiz..
moderate..
nt gud..
bt nt bad..

after everything..
w8ed in front of 3B..
for my book..
w8ed very long..
den kah hoe saw me..
den only u came out..
den going down..
mrs lee called me..
ask me find elaine n do sumthin..
den go bek..
bt dey left without me..
T.T
din wait me..=[

den go bek lo..
tuition..
during dat time..
i was kinda crazy..
keep disturbing hsien..
bt in my heart..
im feeling a kind of hatred..
2wards them..
i rly dunno how..
go bek..
chat v sailou..
abt it..
yea..
perhaps..
she wud be happier v him..
perhaps..
den chat till..
my tears jux cant control..
agn..

ARGH~!!!!
pls stop everything!!
i cant take it anymore!!!

66th day of waiting

66th day of waiting..Tue
2day..
early in da morning..
stomachache..
went to skul later..

reach jor..
heard dis sat gt kursus..
den go in front stage..
prepare..
den go up stage..
dis time better.
bt still afraid..
Mrs. Lee said my voice has to be firmer..
den she said da prob is im nt confident enuf..
i kept underestimating myself..
for me..
dis is true..
bt i rly think i cant do it..
bt dere's a question in my heart..
how teac noe so much??
wad does she noe abt??
im rly curious...
@@

den go bek class..
trying my best to cover up everythin i din do..
bt no time..
my sj bab 6 totally dun und..
ARGH~!
dunno wad i read laz nite..
rly wasted all my time..

den exam..
luckily gt hudaibiyah..
at least noe a lil..
bt nt enuf time..
haiz..
gt some blanks..
bt i tried my best..

den bi..
oso roughly do..
hate summary..

den recess..
faz faz study bio!
haiz..
now only noe i dun und haploid n diploid..
argh~!
simply read..
den exam..
TT
nt gud..
haiz..
den finiz jor..
bestari n dedikasi both class chaotic..
all students come here n dere..
cuz both teac oso very nice de..

den sum1 talked to teac abt L..
rly zd..
i jux sit dere n listen..
very funny..

den..
finiz skul..
dey stand by da stairs..
cuz w8ing gate open..
rite dere..
when i saw u guys..
i rly feel..
ARGH~!
y cant i be lik dat..
y can u jux come when u wan..
leave when u dont..
dont u care abt deir feelings??
my feelings??
dat time no mood jor..
jux stand dere..
let wind blow..
den sailou came out..
went down v em..
den chat a lil..
den bek home..

slept..
den grandpa called me..
n woke me up..
saying dat he is coming to bring for us dat time..
den hang up jor phone..
sleep agn..
den horn horn horn..
go out..
take things..
den cant sleep jor..
haiz..

den go tuition..
teac no come..
do paper..
do till frustrated..
cuz same method..
alil diff..
den diff answer..
bt dunno wad is da thing dat is wrong..
me or him??
den no answer!!
do 4 wad??
do jor oso dunno rite or wrong..
den decided to stop..
jux sit dere..

end..
saw eng teac..
he asked y 3 of us din come..
triangular love a??
i rly zd...

den when sum1 wanna hit her(ply dat kind)..
u go n stop..
den y 2day u can go bully her??
only u can do dat??
i did da same thing u did to him..
i jux hit u..
u think i was playing??
no!
i was rly serious..
i nvr pull other ppl hair if im playing..
den u knock me over to da wall..
dat time i was kinda possessed..
bt instincts calmed me..
i was intentionally gonna pull ur hair..
bt i stopped..
so i jux touched ur hair..
den u go n do it on me..
u think all dis was jux a joke??
no!
i was very angry dat time..
bt i jux left a smile on my face..

y muz u keep following her??
when i do it..
u will only show dat u dun lik it..
den u can do it??
i cant??

im rly rly rly tired of u..
u hav to be 'perfect' in front of me??
u muz boast me how gud u r?/
wad u noe..
i noe u studied..
bt do u hav to do dat everytime..
n when i ignore..
stop mentioning it to me agn!
i ignore it means i dun wanna hear it..

now u're gonna take everything away from me agn..
happy now??

humans r very evil..
dey hate u very much..
bt in front of u..
dey act lik dey care..
dey act lik dey r ur fren..
bt in deir heart..
dey hate u very much..
humans r rly evil...
including me...
dis world is full of LIES!

64th & 65th day of waiting

64th day of waiting..Sun
morning..
woke up den went to rawang..
eat dim sum~
wit grandpa dem..
^^
den go tuition lo..

den bek home..
study sambil on9..
rly cant concentrate de..
bt dat's me~~

when i think of us..
i rly cant stop being sad..
y..
ARGH~!!!

bt rly thx sailou keep acc-ing me..
bt self so late no sleep..
make till self very tired..
thx n sry..

so slept at around 2 after revising most of the things..

65th day of waiting..Mon
..da drama awaits..

2day went to skul..
brought along my baskets n my sword..
total OMG..
hands very full..

went dere..
go bilik sejarah prepare..
im lucky i dun hav to change so much..
bt deir costume nt bad lo..
quite nice..

den prepare dis n dat..
den go dewan jor..
prepare..
omg..
nervous..

den drama~
final scene..
birch's bathing scene..
haha..
dose teac kept laughing==
gt dat funny meh..
haven go up stage oredi laugh lik dat..
den while acting..
omg..
terrible laugh voice came from behind..
rly zd..
den jux act..
haha..
gt many 'climax' in our drama..
haha..

finally finished!!
luvin' it!!

haha^^

den bm n chem...
chem rly ruin my happy day..
cuz..
careless!!
no c instruction!!
subjective question suppose answer in paper..
i go rite in test pad..
den no time to copy to da paper..
ARGH~!
o my subjective dunno how..
c teac wanna mark my answer at test pad anot..
hope so la..
or else i will cry lik hell!!
TT

argh~!
after exam wan find teac..
bt cant find..
den go up..
saw sailou..
sooooo cool lik dat..
TT
be more active ma..
lik shunee!
haha..
pls la..
xD

den bek home..
ntg much jor..
rly feel..
weird..
dunno is happy or sad or angry..
pls..
stop~!
i dun wan 2 be lik dis anymore!!
no!!!!

63rd dy of waiting

63rd day of waiting..Sat
2day..
woke up..
force myself to go wushu..
den dere..
saw chinese society things..
den practice..
very very tired..
my heart pumping lik wanna drop..
i rly dunno abt my health condition..
sumhow everytime i will oso feel dis way..
isit my heart's prob??
or..?

den bek home..
eat pizza n KFC..
den notice bottle lost!!
shit..
went bek to skul agn n search for it..
luckily search dou..
den went organ..
ntg much..

den go tuition..
ntg much oso..
2day's theme is BLUE~
3 of us oso wear blue colour T..
ntg much..
kinda hav sum jealousy over dere..

den jux continue my day..
went out..
dinner..
bek home..
on9..
den mahjong..
bt 2day..
sumthin extraordinary happened!!
sum1 asked me to be her boyfriend!!
OMG!!
dis is da 1st time i heard abt it..
n da prob is..
i dunno her..
she dun rly noe me..
how??!!
n her english kinda poor..
so i cant rly communicate well..
since i dun rly lik chattin in chinese..

yes..
i rly want a gf..
bt m i dis desperate??
in my heart..
i only hav PsyCho..
so i reject it..
bt i rly feel lik noe-ing..
wad will u feel..
if i accept her??
will u feel happy??
or sad??

perhaps u n i r jux nt meant for each other..
PsyCho shud nvr been born..
i shud hav nvr love u..
bt da truth is..
I DO...

61st & 62nd day of waiting

61st day of waiting..Thur
morning..
after assembly..
gt a meeting v engsern n jinbin..
haiz..
seriously..
im trying to help..
dey wanted to giv da surat amaran..
bt i stopped them n forced dem to giv me da letter..
den meet u guys..
jux hope u guys will work harder..
n i dun intend to scold u guys..
jux wanna hav a private talk..
bt..
jb's attitude still ok..
bt es'..
rly..
argh!!
im trying to help..
bt if u guys dun wanna appreciate it..
i rly dunno wad to do to help anymore..
den bio..
learned a lil..
den teac say will dissect frog after raya~
yay!!
den PJ..
changed into my pj clothes..
den go down..
suddenly..
sailou hit me from bhind..
grrr...
say me gap lui oo..
adui..
i seeing ppl tugas lo..
den agn..
shyly he 'ran' away to da canteen..
den ntg to do..
go play pingpong..
play play xia..
ring~~
zd!!
form3 bek class jor..
jux now intend play a while go find sailou..
bt..
bell so faz ring jor..
ish!!
suan le..
go find oso nt dere jor..
den jux go n play agn..
nande i will play agn..
play till very happy..
even though im nt dat gud..
bt very happy..
haha

den recess..
den bi..
say do poem..
i rly wrote out wad i felt..
bt..
den chatted v annie abt it..
haiz..
math teac din come..
den bla bla bla..
practice drama..
starting to gt tired abt it..

went bilik guru..
saw mrs lee..
giving away da vote papers..
den sum teac gav bek jor..
'accidentaly' saw da result..
as expected..
mostly oso choose HIM..
den i jux act lik i din c..

bt can i rly dun mind??
i rly mind abt da posst..
i can act lik i dun k..
bt actually i rly do..
y..
i rmb in class..
normally im more active than u..
etc..
bt y dose teac..
dey still prefer u!!
what do u hav dat i dont??
what!!

den bek home..
tuition..
bek home..
chat v sailou..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to SweaYan..
hope u will lik da present i gav..
hope that....
...
at least u will be happy always..

62nd day of waiting..fri
friday 13th..
morning..
ntg much..
as usual..

sj teac no come..

den math..
sy wanna find teac..
bt y muz he follow??
den y when i follow her out..
i come bek..
u bu shuang,,
den now u gt care my feeling??
NO!!

i sat dere alone..
so during dat period..
thinking back of da memories we had..
all dose times we've been through..
u n i..

all of da flashbacks..
caused my tears to roll down my cheek uncontrollably..
once agn..
i cried in skul..
bt dis time..
im sure dat nobody knows abt it..
all they think is..
"He's sleepy.."
"tired"
wadeva..
bt i rly cant control it dis time..
den my mood..
down..

den during add math..
zenyi came in..
say wan find HIM..
den i tot is BC society things..
den he came in n say..
wan all form 4 AJK go out now..
wad!!
pengawas thing..
im da so-called penolong ketua..
bt when gt things happen..
im nt da 1 dey find..
he is!!
so even in da junior's heart..
IM NTG!!!
wad oso him..
he is going 2 gt everything from me agn!!

den jux finiz my work..
went recess..

bek..
physic..
bi..
ntg special..
after skul..
went out..
stood outside 3B..
wanted to chat a while v sailou..
den come out jor..
tell me he very nervous..
until hands wet wet..
den he left..
i oso dun rly hav da mood 2 say so much..
jux act happy..
bt oso happy for him..

den jux went bek for drama..
nt rly in da mood for it..
nvm..
since my character has to be serious..
so is ntg much..

bek home..
watched buzzlightyear..
==
den watched child's play..
lame..

den tuition..
sifu sit alone..
so went to acc him..
bt dat place very cold..

den bek..
ntg much..
whole nite very bored..
wasted my time doing ntg..

sms her..
bt no reply..


now..
im rly ntg..
i failed in everything..
im NTG!!
i lost everything!!
NTG I SAY!!
NTG!!!

60th day of waiting

60th day of waiting..Wed
2day..
woke up..
say my phone..
da time was X:24..
OMG!!
y no1 woke me up..
went out..
saw my bro..
wondering y he nid wake so early..
den i was still in sleepy mood..
he asked me..
y wake up so early..
3 sumthin only wo..
wad??!!
i went bek in room..
saw my phone agn..
omg..
3.20++ only..
ish..
went bek to sleep..
damn tired dat time..
den woke up around 6..
prepared n went to skul rather earlier..
cuz i prepared faster 2day..
den reach dere..
intend finiz bi..
end up notice moral din do..
den quickly do..
many 4B-ians oso rushing PM..
haha..
cuz 1st period is moral..
den sook fen in charge assembly..
she went out 1st..
den i nid to giv pengumuman to all da prefects..
haiz..
when it comes to public speaking..
my brain jux cant stimulate well..
all my language was weird..
n doesn't make sense..
ish..

den ntg much..
sailou incharge kosa kata 2day..
bt take da card only..
no say..
quite cute xia..
lik shy shy lik dat..
actually ntg to be malu of..
dey only focus on da board..
nt u..
so is ntg..
too bad i cant help..
if i do..
mrs lee sure scold me..
y do all dis things..@@

den jux as usual..
bullying yauz~

bek class..
nt much..
skip~

recess..
talked v jie n pian..
~~~~~~~~~~
after recess..
bi..
talked to them agn cuz teac haven come in..
plus..
sumthin happened..
do u think i cant do dat thing dat u did??
i respected u n i cared a bt ur feelings..
dats y i din go in front even i've finish my work..
bt u??
when u finish..
den u jux go in front..
left me behind..
den chat v da gal i lik..
hav u cared abt my feeling??
u think i cant do dat??
n everytime when im with her laz time..
y were u jealous??
u hav ur own gf..
n im jux with da girl i lik..
u jealous wad??!
pls..
stop doing this..
b4 im getting angrier agn..

den bi..
since ive prepared..
so i slept..
w8 till teac wan discuss..

den bio..
teac say we do our own things..
cuz we too 'wild'..
den at 1st..
we ask teac bout da exam format..
den teac ask me to rite.
while she say..
den i pergi conteng..
haha..
"VERY HARD!"
"GOOD LUCK"

haha..
wuliao~
den after going toilet..
dunno y eyes suddenly pain..
i can barely open it..
itchy n pain..
a while later..
ntg much..

den time flies..
school ended..
bt has to stay bek for da performance..
den jux practice..
gonna perform on next monday..
haiz..
gt 1 scene is i bathing..
teac ask me to change into a white t-shirt n a short pants..
den use da towel wrap around waist..
omg..
'sexy' betul..
in front of so many ppl..
omg..
tak tau how..
T.T
2molo discuss agn..

den bek home..
ntg much..
napped for quite some time..
den while in my nap..
i dreamnt of sumthin..
sumthin which im afraid will happen..

1st..
im afraid dat dey will be together agn..
2nd..
im afraid dat da 'friends' dat i rly care abt dun wan to bother me anymore..
thinking dat im very annoying..

i'm rly afraid dis will happen once more..
bt wad can i do??
i dun wanna stand dat kind of torture anymore..
it rly hurts..
A LOT!!

den i dunno how now..
seriously..
m i being annoying??
disturbing??
im afraid i m in u guys heart..
pls tell me da truth..
pls..
i'll try to stop if it is..

lastly..
happy bday..
to PHUNG SWEA YAN!!
haiz..
may nt be da 1st to wish..
hope dat u will gt da merriest day of all~
may all ur wishes come true..
at 1st thought of wanna call u anot..
bt 2molo skul day..
scared u sleep jor..
so jux sms u a msg..

den u replied..
haha..
decide agn..
wanna call?
den end up..
u called me..
oh!!
haha..
den rly sang..
haha..
weird..
bt funny^^

den chat a while..
for 13 min..
^^

rly rly happy..

58th & 59th day of waiting

58th day of waiting..mon
2day..
sook fen in charge perhimpunan..
bt i helped bside..
nt much of a help..
bt acc.ed..
quite a success..
bt da stupid idea..
caused sum ppl nearly faint..
ish~!
banyak masalah la!!

den jux went to chem lab..
do experiment agn..
after mixing 2 solution..
(4gt wad was it)
da whole solution..
suddenly changed into yellow precipitate..
yeng lo!
in the blink of an eye only..
den play v it..
nice~
end up whole hand yellow yellow~

den add math..
haiz..
din attend laz friday..
dun rly noe how to do..
den hor..
suan..
self find out how do using other books..
since no1 can help me..
no1 is free to help..
den find out self..
end up..
success jor!!
haha

den recess..
den sivik..
jux do things..
den BM ntg jor..

after skul nid stay bek..
do da drama..
for pn. chelvi..
hehez..
i gt praised..
xD
bt very fun dat time..
cuz every1 still kiddin kiddin de..
kinda happy..

den..
bek home..
tired..
slept..
den woke up..
tuition..
bored~

den bek home..
sad..
cuz dad told me my phone bill..
argh..
100++
damn..
count sms only..
to non-maxis..
oredi 67++
add up all da calls n things..
100..
damn..
dunno how i use..
rly sh!t de..
now cannot sms jor..
dose were da happy times..
wher i can say out all my behsong things..
to my sailou thru sms..
bt now..
nid to stop..
argh!!
seilo!!
now i can only keep dose frustrations to myself..
very hurt de lo!!!
T.T

59th day of waiting..Tue
morning..
in bilik pengawas..
sang bday song for kailin..
den dunno who gav him da condom box..
rly OMG..
bt damn funny..
jux went to be in charge of da assembly..
haiz..
my luck..
everytime i in charge da mic oso gt prob..
den go up stage..
haha..
tepukan SB~
1st time..
trying to improve myself..

den bm no teac..
keep going out..
wan find teac..
bt cant..

den BC no teac agn..

den Sj..
went down dewan..
do da persembahan..
i forced myself to be serious..
at least i managed to do it..

~~~~~~
haiz..
sailou passed by..
bt everytime shy shy de!!
den keep wan leave..
TT
make me feel lik a failure..
TT
~~~~~~

den recess..
den moral..
haiz..
whole class..
nearly every1 fell down..
cuz every1 very sleepy for no reason..
me myself nearly slept..
den bla bla bla..

den physics..
teac wanted to c me..
cuz i did nt attend laz friday..
den ask me go find pn lee take letter..
den went jor..
take jor..
bek jor..
teac oso speechless jor..
luckily din gt scolded..
den..
do experiment..
abt light de..

den..
after skul at 1st say wan stay bek..
bt end up say dun wan..
dey say all lo..
say dis den dis..
dat den dat..
ish~!

den bek home..
my add math..
rly funny..
dunno nid how long to finiz 1 Q..
hate differentiation..
totally 4gt how jor..
nid start agn..

den tuition..

argh..
it reminds me of..
how gud he is..
n how i compare oso cant be as gud as him..
da way he treats her..
da way he do his hw..
im rly ntg compared to u..

im rly rly rly tired of everything..

rite now..
im rly afraid..
im afraid im being annoying agn..
cuz everytime keep finding sailou..
den lik keep bothering him..
lik annoying him..
argh..
rly scare he will feel..
TT

i rly dunno wad to do in my life..
i rly hav communication prob..
v every1..

mental depression??
once agn im having suicidal thoughts..
y??!!

57th day of waiting

57th day of waiting..sun
2day bored..
morning woke up..
den go tuition..
for no reason..
our gang so coincidentally wore white shirts..

den mark rly made us laugh..
"AGE GAP"..

den bek home..
ntg much..
jux feeling frustrated..
wondering shud i transfer skul??
next year??
everything is forcing me to leave..
ntg is making me feel lik staying..

i noe..
even if i leave..
it brings no difference to others.
dey will still be very happy..
without me..

i rly hate it here..
bt now is too late..
i've rly regretted y din i go laz year..
y..
now everything is too late..
i muz stand all dese things for a whole year..
even if i wanna leave..
i bet no1 will even ask me to stay..

thinking of u jux make me feel worse..
y..
all sorts of WHYs r in my head..

一厢情愿的人最辛苦··
在朋友当中··
我一厢情愿以为你们会把我当最好的朋友··
在爱情当中··
我一厢情愿地爱你··
你却依然喜欢他··

我这人很失败··
我已经想尽办法··
讨人欢心··
希望你们会把我当一个知己··

但··
我错了··

我曾经以为我自己很厉害··
自以为是··
其实··
我连蚂蚁都不如··

庄鸣裕!!

你真的很失败!!

56th day of waiting

56th day of waiting..sat
2day is sailou's big day..
once agn..
HAPPY BIRTHDAY~!
happy 2 be da 1st..
den my day is as usual..
din attend wushu cuz too tired..
den jux woke up for organ class..
kinda happy dat teac kinda praise me..
bt nid more effort..
haiz..
noe jor exam date..
now make me more anxious..
25th of aug..
so faz..
2 more weeks..

den was still happy..
went for bio~
sleepy..
den bek..
den chat v sailou..
saw da 'unopened' box..

den went for dinner..
bek home..
receive a msg full of bad words..
cheer up~

den my nite end with a lil mahjong..
jux 45 min..
cuz wnted to call him..
bt too noisy..
once agn..
plan ruined..
fine..

!!now nid plan for 0812!!

2geda v u at genting was rly fun..
both of us alone in da room..
went McD alone..
rly luv it..

rly hope til sep come..
wher i can go kuantan..

if i can bring u along den it wud b perfect..
we could stroll along da beach at night..
holding hands..
looking at da stars..
hear da sound of da waves..
bt all of dis wud be jux a fantasy..
u wun like me anyway..
all i can do is jux imagine..

haiz..
dunno y..
everytime im happy..
sure gt thing make me down..
1stly..
i still mind dat wad C did on friday..
hello?
dis is nt wad im in charge of..
den i ask u wnna go out anot..
u showed us da 'wadeva' look..
den din care jor..
WTF?!!
fine!
if dat's wad da way u wan den fine..

den..
chat v A..
ask A delete sumthin..
cuz i dun wan B sad..
(since A dunno)
luckily B nt around..
den chat chat xia..
da tone of A changed..
lik very bu shuang..
den suddenly off..
den i saw A's status..
say wad bes fren for bes fren isnt da bes..
sumthin else is bes for HIM..
even A din mention who..
bt i think is me..
if is rly me..
i rly dunno wad to say now..
is my fault agn??
wad did i do wrong agn..
since then..
my mood is kind down..

den..
C came n find me..
chat a while..
den talked abt cake..
at 1st i feel dat..
maybe u din hate me or wad..
den chat chat xia..
u told me..
u r jealous when we celebrate other ppl bday..
n din celebrate urs..
bt is my fault agn??
dey told me u said u dun wan cake for ur bday present..
u wan shirt n wadeva..
so i said dat to u..
u told me u 4gt u said dat..
u think nobody cared abt ur bday??
we've planned many things..
bt it jux din work out..
plus..
ur attitude has caused alot of trouble..
now u're saying dat we dun k??
if u wan us to celebrate so much..
y did u said u dun wan a cake on the 1st place??
u said dat..
den how we celebrate without a cake?
ish!!
im rly tired of ur attitude..
yea..
age gap..
wadeva..
if dat's wad u think..
den go on~
up to u..

ARGH!!
i've rly regret for da choice i've made..
i shud hav transferred skul laz year..
im tired of everything here..
maybe i rly belong to chong hwa..
to my primary skul frenz..

i rly wanna leave..
2 a place wher dere's ppl who care..
i'm rly rly rly tired..
fed up of everything!!

54th, 55th day of waiting

54th day of waiting.. Thur
morning..
mom cooked french toast..
eat jor..
when bathing..
suddenly vomited..
ISH~!
nt agn..
den took my sword to school for da drama..
so is kinda big..
n hard to bring..

den bio did da mind map thing..
our group 4.5/5..
cuz lost 1 point..
den..
bt is da highest mark..
haha^^
actually is nt our group..
we din do preparation..
i jux sat dere n roughly read..
den go up n draw lo..
haha^^
lik dat oso can gt high marks..

den..
PJK..
bored..
at 1st say gt drama..
den ms. paul said dat no1 informed her..
so cannot..
den end up tidy class..
ish..
cannot go down during f3 recess..
cant find sailou jor..
ish~
da fan damn dirty..
make my face n clothes oso dirty jor..

den went down..
dunno do wad..
walk around..
waste time..

den bi ntg~
math oso ntg much~
den stay bek for BC..
teacher very funny..
bt dunno y..
i dun think im any worse..
y i gt lower marks den all of dem..

den bek home..
b4 bek..
go cake shop..
buy cake..
dad keep ask dis n dat..
dunno how answer..
all lie~
den tuition..
tired..
den bek home..
ntg jor..

wah~!
mui so faz gt bf jor wo..
suan lo..
gt jor..
1st thing oso din tell me..
TT
bt wish u gud luck ya~

55th day of waiting..Fri
all day with different kinds of feeling..
mixing together..
weird..
at 1st..
since morning..
very bz..
for da preparations for monday's assembly..
den..
told sailou to follow me go bilik pengawas de..
bt i couldn't nt leave dat time..
so i asked weii help me take for him..
from far i can c dey reaction..
kinda funny..
bt cant giv personally..
haiz..
anyway..
thx weii~

den jux continue bz..
walk here n dere..
den meeting here n dere..
whole day can say din go in class..
from start..
after meeting in canteen..
go find ms.paul..
den bek to b.pengawas..
den meeting..
omg..
rly cant hear wad teac say..
bt heard sumthin secret..
hehez..
shh~~
very funny..

den teac belanja makan..
ate sum~
den drank tea..
omg..
shudn't drink..
after drink..
str8 away feel lik vomiting..
manyak phlegm..
den go toilet..
vomit everything out..

den go find teac do things..
den bek in b.pengawas..
at da window..
saw sailou..
bt din call him..
cuz mrs. lee was dere..
dem jux stood dere..
bt he din c dou me at all@@

den go type things..
bored..
den bla bla bla..
go bek class..
dey told me dat Piggy wrote me ponteng class..
F! la..
contribute to da school still consider wrong??
ish!!
lazy to c u..

den..
ntg much..
jux my mood..
terrible..
hate it..

den bek jor..
receive dou sum thank you msg..
den prac my organ to release sum stress..

nap~
tuition..
den bek..
chat..
during dese chat..
mood came bek a lil..
a lil..

den 12 o'clock jor!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SAILOU!!
keep calling u..
cuz wanna learn from weii..
sing song..
bt..
haiz..
u said u're sleeping..
my plan ruin jor..
@@

dailou/sailou necklace^^

bt hope dat da cake will taste nice..
n u will lik da necklace..
hope~

51st, 52nd & 53rd day of waiting

i've decided to continue waiting..
even though..

51st day of waiting..Mon
early in the morning..
2day im in charge..
so in my mind..
i thought i only nid to ikrar..
den teac in charge started everything..
den suddenly..
pn. pauline came n ask prefect to be in charge..
den..
is my turn..
den went dere..
omg..
very very nervous..
even my hands were shaking..
den sook fen stood bside me..
haiz..
rly gud experience..
bt rly afraid..
TT
im afraid d next turn..
den went to lab..
chemistry..
ntg much..
den add math..
teac din come..

den after recess..
sivik teac no come oso..

den bm..
teac oso no come!
den pn koay came in for relief..
den..
ask us wad we wanna hear..
den i choose pengurusan EQ..
den she asked questions..
every1 nid answer..
den..
she asked us to play a game..
kemahiran sosial de game..
every1 laugh till stomach ache..
rly rly funny..
from da starting..
dey act very gud..
den pass pass pass..
da middle de ppl change till weird jor..
end up da laz 1 totally different v da 1st 1..
dis shows ppl rly nid to communicate well..

den after skul..
practise for da drama..
at least better than laz time lo..

den bek jor..
around 4 sumthin..
very tired..
den tuition..
haiz..
tired tired..
den sj dat time..
gt so many ppl nvr concentrate..
y only ask me de..
den end up dunno how answer..
malu..
my fate!
everytime when i din focus on wad teac say..
sure dat teac will ask me..
since primary skul oso lik dat jor..
even gt ppl talk to me..
i din answer..
jux listen..
teac oso ask me up de..
ISH!!
everytime oso lik dat..
hate!!
den bek home..
ntg jor..

52nd day of waiting..Tue
ntg much in da morning..
den BC spelling thing..
luckily i memorize in da morning..
din read at nite..
den till sj..
rly cant bliv..
dat time very sleepy..
den teac ask us do nota..
den i made into column since i thought we r suppose to do dat..
den i saw dem..
all nt doing it dis way..
den i thought..
sei lo!!
den suan..
continue do..
in my mind..
teac will scold..
den teac came near..
suddenly..
Chong Meng Joe??
(teac nt sure my name..)
(den c my name tag say)
den..@@
she say..
"ur work very neat oo"
i was lik..
OMG??
den she took my book..
showed loohong dem..
dunno say wad wad wad..
keep 'praising' me..
den i dunno how answer..
kept laughing..
den she dunno y ask shirui out to explain..
den bla bla bla..
after tanah arab..
is china n india..
teac asked me to explain..
den hor..
when teac ask..
all answer let vijaya snatch to say jor..
hello?
teac asking me lo..@@
den teac say me..
do so neat bt dunno how answer..==
ish..
bt very cant bliv teac..
cham lo!!
she noe me jor..

den recess..
after recess..
drama..
im still very weak in acting..
nt so dare yet..
ish!!

den physics..
dis 1 rly terrible!!
teac..
ask us do experiment..
den ask us do report..
wan pass up dat day!!
left nt much time..
den u keep rush lik hell..
we haven finiz copying..
u keep rush rush rush..
dun let us c..
how on earth r we gonna copy..
den use brain la!
u click to a page..
wher ntg to be copied..
den sum1 go press..
den u come bek scold scold scold..
dun let us go bek..
F la!!
say wad wad wad nonsense..
den end up..
1.20++ only let us go..
den my dad gt plan jor..
cancel bcuz wait for me..
ish..
den tuition for addmath..
in my mind..
i still hav frustration..

i rly dunno how..
when i noe u r sick..
i feel..
weird..
bt i cant do much..
he's doing a better job than me..
i'm a loser..

53rd day of waiting..Wed
2day..
ntg much..
intend to find pengetua..
den dat OL..
rly make ppl angry de..
ask us y wan find..
den we changed our mind..
i said nvm..
THANK YOU!
den u go n say us no manners..
lagi is prefect!
WTH!!
u self deaf go n say other ppl..
go c doc la!!

den go bek..
no class 2day..
many teac din come..

den ntg much..
in bio lab..
sy n i 'chatted' through passing note..
once agn..
u rejected me..
by dat time..
i rly wanna act lik ntg happened.
bt..
my eyes..
my tears..
so i jux act lik wanna sleep..
bt all im doing is controlling myself..

den teac say wan pass up da bio book..
den jux tear out dat piece of paper..
lazy erase..

i rly cant do it..
i walked away..
alone..
thinking of wad to do..
wad to feel..
den i saw sailou..
gav him da paper..
den..
went bek home..
da distance from da gate to da car..
seems weirdly far..
i saw sailou at da bus-stop..
bt he has his frenz..
so decided not to interrupt..
den jux go on..
dat time i was rly sad..
bt when i saw my dad..
i hav to fake a smile..
den my day jux end lik dat..
i wasted my whole day..
din do any hw..
jux..
waste my time..

rite now dis moment..
im confused..
im sad..
i jux hope i can gt over it..
pls..

i rly luv u..

50th day of waiting

50th day of waiting..Sun
@The End

2day..
woke up on 10..
den on9..
ntg much..
until 2 oclock..
went tuition..
i was alone..
cuz dey all went for add math class..
den i sat at a corner..
den sifu ask me go join dem..
i rejected..
den jux sit dere..
den i was rly touched..
he came n sat bside me..
den his fren all follow him..
i was rly touched..
n i felt guilty..
cuz of me..
dey hav to move here..
den i was nt alone anymore..
den mark saw wad i wrote..
since he gav a task..
den he say my penyampaian nt gud..
dunno how change a!!@@

den after dat w8 dem finiz..
den went sy hse..
discuss bout moral..
den in my mind..
ive thought of 'sumthin'..
bt jealousy is still in my heart..
u noe i love her..
bt y do u still hav to stick to her so close??
u oredi hav urs..
den y..
im rly confused..
den finiz discuss..
went for dinner..
den bek home..
intended to go airport fetch mom..
bt..
gt things to do..
so din go..
den jux type lo..

suddenly think dou pengawas de wan take pic..
so crazily i went n change my shirt..
go take pic..
lik crazy ppl..

den continue type..
while typing..
i called u..
i wanted to say..
bt u say u on9 jor..
so i said through on9..
as expected..
da answer is still da same..
u've once agn rejected me..
den my tears..
once agn drop at da edge of my eye..
dey were lik acid..
making my eyes hurt..
den i forced myself to stop..
cuz i nid to ask u question abt da moral..
so i called u..
i tried to calm my voice..
bt still gt some words i cant speak..
crying has made my voice bad..
bt i managed to finiz asking u question..
acting as if ntg happened..
after da call..
i cried once agn..
dis time longer..
den i found my sailou..
at 1st..
he still gt mood de..
den suddenly he no mood jor..
den suddenly his mood became normal..
i oso dunno wan how comfort him..
self oso cant help..
sry ya..
intend to bring u gud news..
bt..
all i gt is bad news..
nvr gud..
bt rly thx..
cuz u rly made me happier..
n u've tortured ur eyes..
jux to acc. me..
rly..
THX..

isit the end??
or will it be da 51st day of waiting??
i rly dunno..
i dun wanna noe..
can i jux 4gt everything??
ate a pill..
den i gt amnesia..
4gting everything..
jux noe da life basis..
dat's enuf..

i wanna live a new life..
can GOD jux giv me 1 more try..
to live my life from da beginning..
from 7-6-1994??